From: notonyourteam	Date: May 24th, 2011 07:54 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie dragged her feet as she exited Sonnier and made her way towards the pitches. She wasn’t really sure what kind of bullshit the redhead was spewing about the flagpole, did they even have a flagpole? It was one of those things that seemed like they would have but she had never really bothered to look for. She figured if they had it, it would be near the sports fields. She slouched as she neared the Quidditch pitch, she still saw no stupid pole.

This whole things was stupid, she was pretty fed up about it. There was no way in hell that she was going to fight her best friend, no matter how much the redhead was pissing her off. It irritated the hell out of her that she was the one who was getting all the blame for what had transpired. Granted, she had kind of started it, she hadn’t been expecting to get under Frankie’s skin as much as she had however. And she definitely hadn’t planned on hitting the stupid French girl. Which, she honestly still didn’t see why it was that big of a deal. It was a stupid cat fight, sometimes cats let out their claws. No one had died, or been seriously injured.

She lit a cigarette and adjusted her sunglasses, as she stood in front of the entrance to the Quidditch pitch. Where the hell had Tatum even meant when she said flagpole? Grumbling angrily, she decided to just go lay out on the field, she figured the redhead knew her well enough to know where she’d be if she needed to find her. She mildly surprised to see Tatum already slumped over on one of the benches waiting for her. Apparently she knew her better than Mackenzie thought.

Slouching her way towards the redhead she stopped several feet away from the girl, and stared at her. What the hell was she wearing? Her first instinct was to tease the girl in the playful way she usually did, but then she remembered that the redhead was legitimately mad at her this time. She frowned instead, and took a drag of her cigarette.

“Are we gonna do this or what?” She asked, her tone conveying boredom. Her posture was all about putting forward a tough attitude. She figured she’d let Tatum whack at her a bit, let the girl get out whatever frustration she had and then go back to her dorm to mope a little bit more.

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 24th, 2011 08:58 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Tatum did know Mackenzie well. The minute the older girl looked at her, Tatum knew exactly what she was thinking, and she frowned deeply. "It's hard to- like.. fight somebody in skinny jeans. They're constricting," she murmured, pushing herself up to stand from the bench. She thought maybe she should crack her knuckles or something, but Mackenzie would just make fun of her.

"We're gunna do this," she assured the blonde, staring intently at her. She didn't know what else to say, or where to start. Was it proper fighting protocol to jump right into it? Did she start out with a jab, or jump right on and start punching? She really had no clue.

Instead, she set her feet to the ground, sneakers digging into the grass. "Put 'em up or like.. whatever, bitch."

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 24th, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie really wanted to point out that she was standing in front of the redhead wearing skinny jeans, but she decided to keep her mouth shut on the matter. She wondered if Tatum could perform occlumens and had read her mind. She dismissed the thought however because if Tatum could, she would probably know that Mackenzie was in love with her and this would be a different situation all together.

It took her all of her self restraint not to laugh when the redhead told her to ‘put-em up’. It was just too adorable a sight to take seriously, especially in that outfit. She knew that Tatum was serious however, and any teasing would only fuel the fire. She removed her sunglasses, and sweatshirt, tossing them off to the side in the grass. Her cigarette remained dangling from her lips. She spread her arms out in indication that she was ready.

“Well, come at me then. Let’s get this over with,” She stared Tatum dead in the eye and waited for the redhead to make the first move. She wouldn’t hit the girl, not matter how mad she got.

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 25th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)		(Link)

Never usually being the type to take to violence easily, Tatum just stared at the older girl for a moment, as if trying to figure out if she was ready. She was usually the one getting beaten up. That had been before Mack had been her friend. Mack who had, despite everything, always taken care of her. She didn't want to hit her, but she kind of had to. It was a matter of an unforgivable line being crossed. If she just pussied out, people would fuck with her relationship forever, until eventually Frankie just gave up and left her.

If anything, she had to do whatever she could do to prevent that.

"It'll be over in like, two seconds, when I knock your teeth out," Tatum murmured, trying to look her toughest and most stern as Mackenzie stared at her. She stared right back, but yet she didn't strike despite her fists being held at the ready. "Which like.. what I should do to you. Why'd you put me in this fucking situation? Why did you fucking do it, dude?"

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 25th, 2011 12:38 am (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie just stared at the redhead blankly, was this really what she had dragged herself out of her hole for? This was fucking pathetic, she may have loved Tatum to death but she was so over whatever this was. She didn’t come here to talk with the redhead, she came for a fight.

“I already told you Tatum but you refused to take my last answer, so I’ll just tell you again why I put you in this situation.” She said calmly, continuing to smoke her cigarette and eyeing the girl warily. “I fucking hate your girlfriend, okay? Don’t like her one bit. Now I love you to god damn death. You see what kind of predicament that is? You’re my best friend, I trust you to see who I am deep down. And your little girlfriend threatens the hell out of me. So I run my mouth, because it’s my best defense. If she knows, which the bitch does, she’s going to use it to tear me limb from limb. So I hit her in the fucking face. Because she scares the fucking hell out of me.” She flicked her cigarette away, and cracked her neck. Her eerie calm demeanor still intact. “Really Tatum, I didn’t have a specific reason for doing it. She made me loose my cool, and I have anger issues apparently. I didn’t do it to hurt you, I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.”

She stretched her shoulders out and cracked her knuckles before pulling her hair up into a pony tail. “Now I know you never were the one beating someone up, so I’m gonna teach you something.” She approached the smaller girl, not bothering to wait for permission and grabbed her chin, not roughly enough for it to hurt but firm enough that she had Tatum’s attention. “There are two place that you‘re gonna want to aim for,” she instructed, her eyes never leaving Tatum’s. Someone had to teach the girl to fight, and Mackenzie knew it would have been her job in better times.

“The eye,” She tapped right bellow the girls eye. “As you well know.”

“And the nose,” She tapped the tip of the girls nose, smirking slightly. “You want to punch upwards to break it, that‘s the easiest way. Although you can also punch right into it or across the face.” She added, smiling slightly. She knew that anyone would have told her she was insane to tell her opponent how to fight. “The mouth is good too, but you have to use more strength to do damage.”

“You wanna make sure to keep your thumb outside of your fingers too,” she added, making a fist to demonstrate. “Otherwise you might break it.”

She shoved the smaller girl back, it wasn’t as roughly as she had pushed Frankie but it wasn’t a nice push either. “Don’t be a pussy Tatum,” She jabbed, glaring coldly. She knew the girl would never hit her if she wasn’t angry enough. “Or are you going to let me get away with what I did like Ginger?” She let her arms drop to her side, she would make no effort to block her face. “Come on Tatum!” She yelled at the girl, “Fucking hit me!”

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 25th, 2011 04:39 am (UTC)		(Link)

Tatum frowned as she listened to Mackenzie's explanation, thrown off by how calm and collected the blonde seemed to be despite what she was saying. It made the red-head feel bad for a moment, that she had never really asked for the details beyond, and had just come out here with herself all worked up. There was no going back now, but she wished she had of thought a little harder.

"You both said rude things, that's no reason to--" she began, shutting up immediately when Mack closed the distance between them and grabbed her gently by her face. The younger girl's expression was comically surprised, and she found herself listening with rapt attention to what Mack was explaining to her. Why the hell was she doing this? Why the hell was she listening? It was like they weren't even fighting. Mack spoke, and she listened obediently, eyes staring back at her, trying to decipher what the blonde was really thinking. Or even feeling, just something.

Her best friend's absurd calm was getting to her.

She watched Mack curl up her fist in demonstration, and she unconsciously did the same, both of her hands clenching tightly at her sides. She didn't know about the thumb rule; it was a good tip. She probably would have ended up hurting herself two punches in without Mack giving her pointers.. but she still didn't know why she was doing it. Did she really want to fight?

The younger Sonnier was taken back when she was shoved, having let her guard down and not at all expecting it. She caught herself from falling back onto the bench, and narrowed her eyes at Mack as she spoke. The glare from the other girl, something she didn't think she had ever seen directed at her, was almost chilling. But she couldn't back down.

When the older girl brought up Ginger, knowing it was a sore spot for Tatum, the red-head snapped all over again. "Fuck you!" she spat. Reaching out when Mack dropped her arms, she gave the older girl a rough shove back, as hard as she could manage. She felt tense all over, and actually angry as Mack shouted at her, egging her on. Everyone thought she was a joke, but it wasn't fair. Clearly even Mack agreed with them. Why would she go easy on her otherwise?

"Don't call me a pussy, I'm.. I'm not a fucking pussy! You're a pussy for beating up a girl that you could like, snap in half," she added, lifting her fists again, holding them up defensively. Bracing herself and hoping for the best, she shot one fist out, pounding it into Mackenzie's left shoulder and trying to put her meager weight behind it.

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 25th, 2011 09:04 am (UTC)		(Link)

It was breaking Mackenzie’s heart to have to scream like that at the redhead, her redhead. She had to keep her front up however, this is what Tatum wanted. She wanted Mack to be the bad guy so she could prove her love for Frankie. Hell, who was Mackenzie kidding? She was the bad guy at this point, and if that was what she wanted, that was what Tatum would get. She knew that she had to provoke the girl even more if she really wanted Tatum to put her all into this fight.

The shove hadn’t been half bad, she could feel where Tatum’s fingers had pressed into her chest. The punch to the shoulder was a good first attempt too, it had actually hurt, just like Frankie’s. She knew the smaller girl was holding back though, even though she didn’t know how to fight, it wasn’t that hard to hit someone in the face who wasn’t fighting back.

“Is that all you got?” Mackenzie sneered, laughing. This whole thing felt so wrong, egging Tatum on to hit her. Hurting the redhead so she wouldn’t feel bad for hitting Mackenzie. This whole situation had gotten out of hand, this wasn’t how they were supposed to be. They were supposed to talk about it, maybe scream a little but hug it out in the end and fall back into their places. They weren’t supposed to fight each other. It was killing Mackenzie inside, but she felt like she deserved it from the redhead. If Tatum couldn’t get herself to do it, Mackenzie would push her until she did. “That barely even hurt Tatum. But hey! At least you actually hit me.”

The calm was returning and Mackenzie stared at the girl, waiting again for Tatum to take another shot at her. “Go for the face Tatum, you aren’t going to do any damage by hitting my arm. I’m a fucking beater, that arm is all muscle.” She pushed the girl lightly again, just a warning shot. Just enough to get her blood pumping. “Don’t you want to defend Frankie’s honor? I fucking hit her in the god damn face, and broke her nose. What are you going to do about it?” She wanted to apologize instantly, she hated having to spit out this bile. She hated having to watch every word hit the other girl and tear her to shreds. She just had to keep reminding herself that it was for the redhead’s own good.

“You’re still the pussy here,” She said finally, her voice cold as she laid down the bait. She hoped that one day Tatum would forgive her. “A real girlfriend would rip my fucking head off. You can’t even hit me in the god damn face.”

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 25th, 2011 06:25 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Tatum accepted the criticism with silent resignation, trying to keep her face straight and serious as she stared at Mackenzie, listening to the blonde speak. "That was just a test," she insisted, fists still up, still balled tightly. But now with the thumbs outside, just like she was told. "I can fucking hit you, don't think I won't!" she yelled, face flushing with color. Anger, rather than embarrassment.

When Mackenzie called her a pussy again, Tatum closed her eyes tightly and just moved forward, giving Mack another shove. She used both of her hands this time, hitting both of the older girl's shoulders, having to stand on her tip-toes in just the slightest to give it more force. She was pleasantly surprised with the stumble that resulted, and she went with the momentum, bringing Mack down to the ground and going with her. "I might be a pussy, but you're a fucking asshole," she hissed, glaring down at the blonde from above her as she pulled her fist back.

She hesitated, her eyes meeting Mack's, before she quickly adverted them. Letting her fist fly, she hit Mack's face finally, the punch hitting her cheek and sliding off. "Fight back!" the redhead shouted, grabbing fistfuls of the front of the older girl's shirt.

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 25th, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie was a bit shocked when Tatum pushed her hard enough to take them both down to the ground. She hadn’t expected the girl to actually get her down and sit on her. She was actually pretty proud of the little redhead, knocking her to the ground was a smart decision in terms of a fist fight. Although Tatum’s glare scared her slightly, she had never seen so much anger on the girl’s face. She really didn’t like that it was directed at her but it was exactly what she had been going for.

The small flicker of hesitation was almost enough to cause Mackenzie to hope that maybe despite everything that had happened, Tatum wouldn’t actually hit her. She wanted to tell her that this violent, angry girl wasn’t her. She didn’t have to do this, she was better than this. She braced herself for the fist that was soon to follow though, she wouldn’t stop the redhead from doing what she wanted.

She felt the girls hit her cheek bone, that was going to leave a nasty bruise. It wasn’t as bad as some of the punches that Hunter had landed on her in the past but it still stung. It still made her sad that this was what resulted from her actions.

She just stared blankly at the redhead again as the girl screamed at her to fight back, letting her shake her around by her T-shirt. “No,” She said calmly, she wasn’t really sure what kind of point she was trying to prove at this point but she wouldn’t hit the redhead. She would rather die then lay a violent hand on that girl.

“Seriously? Was that it?“ She spat, glaring at the girl, daring her to hit her again. “Jesus Christ, that didn’t even fucking hurt. You‘re going to have to do better than that bitch.”

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 26th, 2011 12:05 am (UTC)		(Link)

"Just fucking fight me!" Tatum shouted again, giving Mack another violent shake against the ground by her shirt. She felt the girl's head thump the ground a bit and immediately felt bad, but kept herself straight faced, just staring down at her. "No one is going to believe I fucking beat you, they're just.. y-you're not even trying! If I beat you, everyone is gunna know you j-just let me win," she pleaded in a harsh whisper, surprisingly herself with the desperation of her tone.

She released Mackenzie's shirt, and lifted her head, quickly using a hand to rub over her face. Goddamnit, she couldn't start crying or doing something stupid. This was exactly why no one took her seriously. Things got tough, and she cried. Even now she could feel it building, aching in the back of the throat as she tried to keep it trapped inside.

"Don't you want to punch me too? Don't you really just, Mack? Cause I'm kind of being a cunt, too. I'm not being a very good friend," she suggested, lowering her head to stare at the blonde once more. She pulled back her hand, landing an open palm slap across Mack's face. The sound seemed to echo, and it shocked her. She immediately pulled back her hand again.

"I love that fucking cunt and you hate her and if you hate her, you can't have me. So like, if we have to just.. beat each other up and get this over with, let's fucking do it. Fight me back."

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 26th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie grunted slightly as she felt the back of her head hit the ground. She was trying really hard not to look at Tatum, she knew that if she did it would break the calm she was trying so desperately to keep. If she didn’t look the girl in the eye she wouldn’t see the pain that she was causing, she wouldn’t see how torn the girl was all because of her big mouth. Maybe Tatum was better off with Frankie.

She was so caught up in thought that she looked up in surprise when Tatum released her shirt. She instantly regretted her decision as she watched the younger girl scrub furiously at her face. She remembered when her and Tatum had first become friends, she had found the little redheaded freshman sniffling in a deserted hallway. Some older kid had decided to harass her for something or another, she couldn’t quite remember now. At first she was just mad that someone could do something so insensitive to another human being. But after approaching the redheaded girl and looking into those teary eyes, she had instantly promised herself she would never, ever, make that little redhead cry. She had ended up beating the bully to a pulp and getting a week of detention but it had all been worth it when she had exited her first night of detention to find the same little redhead standing nervously in the hallway waiting for her.

Tatum had mumbled a nervous thank you and to the blonde’s amusement, had launched into an apology for getting the older girl in trouble. Mack had stopped her halfway through that long winded ramble and smiled at her. It was the first time since she had transferred that she had actually smiled at anyone.

“You don’t have to worry about bullies anymore, you know why?” She had told the girl, squeezing her shoulder. The redhead had shook her head furiously, too flustered to get two words out. “Because you have me now, and I’ll make sure that no one will ever hurt you again.”

The slap across her face brought her out of her memory, and she felt her neck snap to the side from it’s force. Her eyes were watering slightly, and she wanted to believe that it was only from Tatum hitting her.

“I love that fucking cunt,” she heard Tatum say, she hadn’t moved her head from where it lay yet. She didn’t really feel like she could move at that point, the pain in her chest was too intense. “And you hate her.” She heard Tatum continue, tears were running down her face now. She couldn’t even remember the last time she cried, it was so strange and foreign. It was starting to scare her. “And if you hate her, you can’t have me.”

Mackenzie didn’t hear the rest, the rest didn’t matter to her anymore. She had fucking lost it, any last bit of self control had just flown out the window. She couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face as pushed herself into a sitting position so she was face to face with the girl sitting on top of her. Placing a finger against the girls lips to ensure that she stayed quiet, she took a deep shuddering breath. She was pretty sure that no one had ever seen her this vulnerable besides Kia.

“I don’t hate her,” She said hoarsely, trying to even out her ragged breathing. She had forgotten how much crying really sucked when you were trying to say something. She looked at Tatum through blurry eyes, and smiled weakly. “I really don’t. I just….I…I just love you.” Her heart was hammering in her chest, she really hoped that what she was doing wasn’t going to ruin everything. She cupped the girls face with her hand and let out a watery laugh.

“I just fucking love you Tatum Donnelly.” She repeated, her voice slightly more confident now. “I am so sorry,” She whispered as she pulled Tatum’s face to hers and kissed her softly. She hoped that she hadn’t just opened Pandora’s box, but it felt damn good to lay it all out. Whatever happened next, she was ready.

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 26th, 2011 02:05 am (UTC)		(Link)

Tatum just stared at Mackenzie after the slap, waiting for the older girl to react, do something. She didn't seem like she was going to do much of anything. She was just laying there, totally listless, totally unlike the sophomore in shining armor that had saved her for that first time. It felt like forever ago now, but she could still feel Mackenzie's hand on her shoulder, that firm squeeze, and the little smile they had exchanged that evening.

She had been so embarrassed. People picked on her all of the time, and it was mostly because she was an easy target. People could pick on her, because she just put her head down and let it happen. Things hadn't changed that much since then, she still kept her tail between her legs if push came to shove in normal circumstance, but they had changed. How had they gotten from there to here? Best friends, trying to beat each other senseless over a girl. It was almost boorish, but there was no going back now.

She couldn't recall what Mackenzie had even saved her from that first time. Or the second. Had someone knocked her books out of her arms again? Put an exploding snap in her backpack? It was too long ago to recall the details now, but she couldn't shake that reassurance, that look Mackenzie had given her back then. She didn't even know her, didn't know that she was just an unpopular freshman, she just helped her. And then stuck around to help her. And this was how she was repaying her.

The redhead bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, trying to stay strong, fighting desperately against an onslaught of tears threatening to slip out. All of this hitting and screaming wasn't her, and although she did love Frankie, wanted Frankie to know she would go up against anyone for her, this wasn't the way to accomplish it. Mack was still laying there, seeming to ignore her still, and she doubted she would get a fight. She just needed to go back to her room and cry it out, just like everything else.

"Fine," she spat, moving to try to get up, when all at once Mack was sitting up and pressing a finger to her lips. Her eyebrows furrowed, but she didn't fight, sitting still and hearing the blonde out on what she needed to say. Was she.. crying? Tatum didn't think she was seeing things right. She found herself squinting at her friend, her words barely computing, as she just stared her in the eyes. Yes, she was definitely crying. It was like the world was flipped upside down. They were here like this, fighting each other, and now Mack was crying. It had to be some kind of trip.

She let Mack cup her face, trying to understand the intensity of what the older girl was saying to her. They had always been close, always joked, but love was a big word. Tears were a big gesture. Tatum could practically feel herself being pulled, immediately torn, and knowing her own tears weren't going to stay away for much longer. "You can't," she tried to whisper breathlessly, feeling her leaning in, knowing what was coming, but then Mack was already kissing her.

God help her, she was kissing her back.

Pulling back after far too many seconds, Tatum was crying for real now, the flow of tears slipping over her cheeks in two distinct streams. "W-We cannot do this," she managed, her eyes wide, trembling. "We.. I can't do this. You're selfish! You can't just--"

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 26th, 2011 02:06 am (UTC)		(Link)

She was getting up now, pushing herself away from Mackenzie and quickly scrambling up to her feet. She was shaking, but she tried to contain it, standing to her full height, trying to get angry again and failing. "I love her, and I told.. I t-told her she was it for me. She is the only girl I see, and now you're-- I can't do this to her. I can't rip myself in two and make you both happy! I don't know what to fucking do!"

It was all coming out now, familiar anxious word-vomit. There was no sense hiding it. Mackenzie had probably understood her reasoning the whole time. "I don't know what to fucking do to make her happy and I can't.. you can't just kiss me and fuck with my head like that! She said you liked me, she said Sera said you liked me, but I didn't believe them. I thought, like.. that's crazy, right? Why? I just can't do it. I can't be in between you guys, it's gunna kill me. I love her, I love you and you're my best friend, and I- I hate me because I can't make everyone happy."

She was making her way back to the bench now, sitting back down on it, lifting up her hands up; face pressing into her open palms as she began to cry harder, shoulders shaking with her sobs. Why did having two gorgeous girls fighting over her have to hurt so bad? It was never like this in the movies. Everything was just supposed to fall into place. Nerd gets girl, lives happily ever after. Except it could never be that easy.

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 26th, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie could have sworn the world was standing still as she kissed Tatum, she felt warm inside, warm and safe. She could feel Tatum kissing her back and her stomach fluttered. She never dreamed that Tatum would actually kiss her back, and yet here they were. As quickly as the kiss started, it was over and Tatum was pulling away from her. She sat there slightly dazed as the redhead girl freaked out, she wasn’t really sure what to do with herself now. She had put herself on the line, let down her walls completely for the redhead. She felt emotionally raw, she wiped her eyes roughly, her tears had subsided slightly.
She stood up and walked over to where the redhead had collapsed on the bench. A whole new stream of tears began flowing down her face, the girl looked so sad. She knew how torn Tatum must be, she knew how much the little redhead tried to please everyone. She instantly felt awful all over again for putting Tatum in this situation. She just couldn’t keep it from her anymore, it was either tell her or have to fight her back.

She knelt down and wrapped her arms around the girls shaking form. Her frame shaking gently with her own sobs, she felt so extremely bad. She felt bad for putting Tatum in that situation when she had promised herself she wouldn’t. She felt bad for herself because she knew that she would tell Tatum to stay with Frankie. She pulled back slightly and brushed back the girls hair from her face gently.

“Hey,” she said softly, sniffing slightly. She kissed Tatum’s forehead softly, and rubbed the girls back. She wanted to ask the girl if she really did love her, but now wasn’t the time. “Please don’t cry Tatum, it breaks my heart to see you sad. It’ll be okay, you don’t have to choose, okay?” Her tears were back again, but they were silent this time. “You’re going to stay with Frankie if that’s what makes you happy, okay? I’m not going anywhere,” She rested her forehead against the other girls and took a deep breath. “You remember what I told you when we first became friends?”

It had been later on, after the detention incident had passed. Mackenzie had been trying to get the nervous freshman to relax around her, but it had proven more difficult than she had anticipated.

“You don’t have to keep hanging around you know,” She had told Mackenzie one day when the blonde had tagged along to the library. “I know you have all of your jock friends, and I’m not exactly popular. I don’t want to be like, your charity case.”

“I told you, that it didn’t matter to me who you were,” She reminded the redhead, her forehead still resting against Tatum’s, eyes closed. “That you would probably have to kill me to get rid of me, because I would always be there for you. I meant it Tatum, you don’t have to choose between Frankie and I because I’m sticking around either way. I love you and I just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

She could literally feel her heart shattering in her chest, but it was the right thing to do. As much as she wanted to push the situation to turn out in her favor, she didn’t want to lose her best friend in the process. This was why she didn’t do attachment, things always went to shit eventually. People got divorced, broke up, cheated on one another, or whatever. She didn’t want to feel the pain it caused, it was just too much.

She kissed Tatum’s forehead one more time, and squeezed the girls shoulder. She had to get away from the redhead, it was killing her slowly to be this close to her right now. Standing up shakily, she retrieved her sweatshirt and sunglasses from where she had tossed them earlier. She hoped that Hunter was in her room, she couldn’t be in hers, it had too many memories.

“I’m gonna go,” she said quietly, choking up all over again. She was glad she had her sunglasses with her. No one would ever believe that Mackenzie Dubinsky was crying over a girl. “Um…I’ll see you later okay?”

	From: porcelinaofvast	Date: May 26th, 2011 04:37 am (UTC)		(Link)

Tatum didn't think she was going to be able to stop crying, but within a few moments, she had relaxed easily into Mackenzie's embrace. Still sobbing, she kept her face pressed tight to the blonde's shoulder, looking up only when forced, closing her eyes tightly as her forehead was kissed. It was a lot to take it, and it was a lot to think about. Things wouldn't be easy from here on out, with things so out in the open between them, and then Frankie factored in as well. Sort of like an elephant under a tablecloth, were they just supposed to act like this never happened? She knew she couldn't, and it only made her cry harder.

She listened to what Mack said to her, nodding her head just the slightest bit in agreement when she was questioned about that day in the library. She remembered it well, the weird look she had given the blonde, that nonchalant smile from behind sunglasses that she got in return. They had laughed, but it had meant a lot to her. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. It was sort of weird, but sort of awesome. She hadn't really thought about it in years, but now it felt like yesterday. The first year they had been friends had been the best. It was only a few years ago, but it felt like decades. What she wouldn't have given to be a carefree and clueless freshman again.

When Mack pulled away from her and stood, going to get her things, Tatum watched her closely with a slightly trembling lip. She wanted to be strong, just let it go, but it wasn't easy. This whole fight had been a ridiculous idea, and she cursed herself for ever getting it into her head that it was a good one. It had been terrible, she hadn't proved a point, hadn't defended Frankie, hadn't even landed a half-decent punch. It was all a waste, and on top of that, now there was this unspeakable moment of weakness between them and the awkwardness she could already feel settling in the air.

She knew she would stay with Frankie, wanted to be with her, loved her desperately. As long as Frankie would have her, she would be there. But how long could she keep this from her? Keep acting like she didn't know everything now? How long before she would have to tell her that she had kissed Mack? She wanted nothing more than to run to her own room and hide until graduation. She didn't think she could deal with the pressure of it all coming down on her head.

She wanted Mack to stop, especially when she saw her choking up again, and she began to do the same. Her lips were trembling, and she bit hard onto the bottom one, trying to stop it, and trying to calm herself. Her hands, balled into fists in her lap, struggled to stay stationary.

"Do you remember that movie I made you watch? After Brittany Murphy died? I said it was one of the best things she ever did?" she asked casually, although her voice was thick from crying, and she sniffling afterward. She asked as if Mack hadn't announced she was going to walk away; she was pretending she didn't hear it. If she didn't acknowledge her, Mack couldn't just leave her here. "Do you remember my favorite part?"

It was desperation again, her brain trying to think up something, anything, to keep them talking this out. She didn't care if Mack really remembered, wasn't sure she even would; she had probably made the older girl watch a thousand movies during their friendship. And this one hadn't been a particularly special viewing. But it was one of Tatum's favorites, and the quote had always stuck with her.

"Sometimes we.. love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means your heart is too big," she recited the line carefully, sniffling again. "That's me and you. And me and her. If you knew how much I actually.. Mack, I can't even explain it. Y-You're both everything to me and I don't know what to do," she managed, inhaling sharply in an attempt to stave off more tears.

"I wish I could be numb to it, cause then it wouldn't b-be so.. fucking hard."

	From: notonyourteam	Date: May 26th, 2011 05:11 am (UTC)		(Link)

Mackenzie wished that Tatum had just let her walk away, she was extremely close to losing it. She wished that she could just turn around at that point and walk away from the redhead. It was the least painful thing to do, run away. Maybe that was her father’s thinking when he left them. Maybe her mother was right, she was too much like her father sometimes. But she stayed rooted to the spot, nodding numbly when Tatum asked her about the movie. Of course she remembered that movie, she remembered almost every single thing that her and Tatum had ever done together. She had tons of stupid picture’s pinned around her desk of her and the redhead.

Her defenses were starting to nag at the back of her mind, telling her to lash out at the redhead, to keep her at arms length. What the hell had she been thinking? Telling Tatum her deepest, darkest secret. It hadn’t really made anything better, it hadn’t changed anything, it just made things awkward between the two of them. It changed everything.

There would always be a her, there would always be Frankie, Mackenzie felt stupid thinking that there wouldn’t be. That maybe, just maybe, things could change. Frankie was right about her being pathetic, waiting around for someone she couldn’t have. She couldn’t even look at the redhead at the moment, instead studying the grass under her shoes. She needed to walk away, she needed Hunter.

“You know what to do Tatum,” She said, her voice rough from all the crying. Not that it had stopped, she wondered if she could ever get it to stop now that it had started. She had kept it all welled up inside her for so long. “And you know what you’re going to do. And that’s alright, okay? Really, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, we‘ll all be fine.” She knew she wouldn’t be, but she had to get the redhead to believe that she would. Tatum would kill herself over worrying about her and she didn’t want to be a burden on the redhead.

She walked over to the miserable redhead and cupped the girls cheek once again. “Hey, you should cheer up Tater Tot,” she said, forcing a smile onto her face. She ran her thumb over the smooth skin of the girls cheek, wiping some of the tears away. She had to be strong for both of them, she had sworn to protect the redhead, even if it was from herself. “You’re so pretty when you smile.” She kissed the girl’s cheek and straightened up, it was time to walk away now. She wouldn’t be able to hold it together much longer.

She ruffled the mess of red hair and turned away from the redhead, making her way across the Quidditch pitch slowly. Her legs felt like lead as she walked and she really wanted nothing more than to turn around and race right back to Tatum. She hoped that the girl knew she wasn’t abandoning her, she just couldn’t handle it anymore today. She needed a break, needed to get away for a while. She needed to figure out what the hell she was going to do, and she couldn’t do that with Tatum sitting right in front of her.

From: (Anonymous)	Date: April 21st, 2014 09:52 am (UTC)		(Link)
qdzytnwh@gmail.com

- Monopolistique, la presse ne l'est pas tant devenue par ses structures et ses opérateurs (exception faite de sa distribution, catastrophique). Elle l'est devenue par son contenu. Pratiquement plus aucun média écrit d'importance ne fait son métier, informer et renseigner sur le réel, avant d'en proposer une vision ou une analyse. Motif pour lequel beaucoup de commentaires, ici, dénoncent la pauvreté générale des contenus, et leurs alignements sur une idéologique molle, liberale-libertaire, et soporifique qui ne produit plus, à proprement parler de nouvelles, ce qu'on appelait autrefois des scoops.