From: whodoo	Date: April 13th, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)		(Link)

It wasn't often that Quinn was in the library. It was even more rare that she was in there because she had something due for class. This was not one of those times. Quinn had been skimming through books for her own personal reasons. On a whole that was much more interesting, anyway.

She finally picked out the one book that had something useful in it and began to make her way out. If there wasn't a good reason to be in the library, she didn't want to be in it. But, naturally, an interesting sight caught her eye on the way towards the front desk to sign out.

Why on earth Jenny, or Ella, was wearing sunglasses in the middle of the library was beyond her. Curious, she made her way over towards the reader. The romance book tipped her off that it might possibly be Jenny, but Quinn was never really entirely certain until she saw the way the girl looked at her. If only she had the same arrangement with Ella she did with Jenny. Then she wouldn't have to worry about it.

Not to mention it would have made things much more interesting.

"I didn't think sunglasses were the sort of thing people wore inside," Quinn said as she came up to the side of the table that the blonde was seated at. "Unless you're hungover, that is."

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 13th, 2011 10:42 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny quickly snapped to attention, lifting her head from the pages on the table and staring up at Quinn as she stood before her. "I'm not hungover," she quickly replied, slipping the glasses down her nose enough to reveal her eyes, which other than being a little red-rimmed looked pretty normal. "It's just a sad book and I.."

She trailed off for a moment, slipping her bookmark into the middle of her chapter. "I just get emotional. It's really touching!" Jenny assured the older girl. She hadn't really spoken to Quinn since Mardi Gras, and that hadn't exactly gone down as planned. She was glad to talk about a book instead of anything more complicated, though perhaps now was as good of a time as any.

	From: whodoo	Date: April 13th, 2011 11:47 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Yea. That was Jenny. She could see it in the eyes clear as day.

Quinn stepped closer to the blonde and leaned up against the table beside her. There was no laughing at the fact Jenny had been emotional over what looked like a romance novel. Had it been anyone else, there would certainly have been a long string of teasing from the senior.

Instead, she tilted her head as she looked at Jenny. "As long as you are enjoying it, I suppose." She couldn't really understand why anyone would want to read a book that would only make you cry. But to each their own.

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 13th, 2011 11:56 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"I do enjoy it, thank you. It doesn't hurt to give new things a chance sometimes," Jenny suggested casually, managing to smile lazily despite herself. With the book closed, she softly drummed her fingertips along the cover as she watched Quinn leaning against the table, looking at her and sending a little shiver down the blonde's spine. Just a momentary thing, like a little shock, but enough to make her shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"I could loan it to you when I'm done," she joked, tongue sticking out briefly. At least with Quinn here, she could try to get herself together and stop all of the blubbering. Though she didn't know why that was; it wasn't like Quinn had never seen her cry before. What hadn't Quinn seen with her? There wasn't much, and that almost made her feel stupider for trying to buckle down and act tough.

"What are you doing in here anyway? Did someone send you on a dare?" the blonde teased, trying to keep up a banter. When did talking to Quinn get so hard? Of all of the people she knew, talking to Quinn should have been one of the easier tasks. But why did she just feel like a cheater as soon as she made eye-contact with the senior?

	From: whodoo	Date: April 14th, 2011 12:48 am (UTC)		(Link)

The senior let out a small laugh when Jenny offered to let her borrow the book, and she shook her head. "No thanks, doll," her nickname for the girl always rolled so easily off her tongue. "I'd rather curl up with a good horror novel, though. You like emotional, I prefer to scare myself into a stupor with the right book." Unfortunately, Quinn rarely had that pleasure. She'd read too many horror novels for her own good.

Jenny pointed out her presence in the library and she shrugged. She held up the book she had found, though made it a point to keep the spine out of the blonde's view. There was no need for Jenny to know Quinn was looking up something that could possibly be questionable in nature. Well, about as questionable as it could be when it wasn't locked up in the restricted section.

"No dare, I'm here for my own pursuit. Couldn't find what I needed at that new bookstore on campus, so I had to suffer this place." Quinn gave Jenny a questioning look. Nothing suggestible... yet. "You care to find someplace a little less stuffy, or do you prefer hiding behind your sunglasses?"

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 14th, 2011 01:04 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny could barely suppress a visibly shudder. She was a big fan of mystery novels, even the occasional thriller, but she had borrowed books from Quinn in the past that had scared the wits out of her. Several Stephen King titles came to mind, not to mention anything to do with Hannibal. Those books were so much worse than the movies. "You would. The last thing of yours that I read, I had to sleep in Ella's bunk for a week," she replied softly, rolling her eyes from behind her partially removed sunglasses.

She didn't even so much as bat an eye at trying to see exactly what Quinn was checking out, and she didn't have time to really process the thought when the older girl spoke again. "Someplace? Like, else?" she managed, a little lamely, before clearing her throat. "Sure, I guess."

She really had to work on that project, but it wouldn't the end of the world if she missed one afternoon of scrawling rough copies. Or so she told herself. Pushing her chair softly back from the table, the blonde stood and began to gather up her things, wiping her eyes a final time as she did.

	From: whodoo	Date: April 14th, 2011 01:12 am (UTC)		(Link)

Quinn smiled at the image, she couldn't help it. It was kind of cute the way Jenny was so easily scared of horror books. Of course, it helped if you had an active imagination. The mind was scarier than movies often enough.

"Excellent," Quinn confirmed as she pushed herself away from the table and took a few steps away so that Jenny had room to get up and get her things. "Anywhere else is practically better than the library anyway. I've got to check this out, I'll meet you up front."

She left Jenny to gather herself as she made her way towards the front desk to get the book checked out. It took a little longer than she would have liked, but soon enough she was ready to meet the blonde by the door.

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 14th, 2011 01:26 am (UTC)		(Link)

When Quinn made off to check out her book, Jenny immediately exhaled heavily, hands fluttering up to mess with her hair a little. She took the sunglasses off, folding them and letting them hang from the neck of her hoodie instead as she rubbed her eyes. She quickly found herself wondering why she should care what she looked like, but chased the thought away with equal speed. It wasn't like that.

They were friends with benefits, but still friends. She could hang out with Quinn and keep it clean, couldn't she? Jenny at least hoped so.

Shoving the last of her things into her schoolbag, she checked her phone briefly for text messages and emails, before throwing that into the bag as well. She considered letting Sera know where she was heading and that she'd be over later, but something about that didn't seem like it would go over well. New girlfriends and old flames didn't exactly mix. Plus she had more or less poured her heart out to Sera about this whole Quinn situation. The blonde had a feeling no matter what way she explained sneaking off somewhere private to Quinn, Sera would take it the wrong way.

Rushing out of the rows of books and finally scampering up to meet Quinn by the library door, she hung her bag over one shoulder as she eyed at the brunette. "Ready if you are," she commented.

	From: whodoo	Date: April 14th, 2011 01:57 am (UTC)		(Link)

Quinn smiled at Jenny when they again met up, and went to get the door. It wasn't terribly often that Quinn had a genuine smile on her face and only a handful of people saw them come from her on a regular basis. Somehow she seemed to smile more around Jenny. "I'm ready," she said and held the door until Jenny was out.

She let out a breath of relief once they were headed away from the library, as it it almost suffocated her to be in there in the first place. It was a habit for her to head towards her dorm room, both with and without Jenny, and so she made her way there again. If Jenny had a problem with it, she would say so.

"How have things been lately?" Quinn ventured to ask in an attempt to fill up the gap of time in the trek over. It had been a little while since she had seen Jenny, and something didn't seem right with her on Mardi Gras. So it didn't hurt to ask, or so she hoped.

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 14th, 2011 02:11 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny kept her pace with Quinn, shifting the bag on her shoulder occasionally. She had a feeling on where they were going, but again tried to remind herself that things didn't need to go that way if she didn't want them to. It wasn't like Quinn was going to just throw her down on the bed and go from there or something.. that had been more of a summer vacation thing.

"Things have been pretty well," Jenny replied, taking just a little long to answer. It was an easy question with hard explanation. Things were well, really great even, but just why things were going so well.. it was a little complicated. Even though she had been pretty drunk, she was sure Quinn remembered Mardi Gras. Jenny had herself so tightly wound that night, it had been a wonder she had gotten out anything she wanted to say, but even what she had gotten out hadn't come out how she planned. She needed to change that today.

Glancing briefly round the common room as they arrived at Lalaurie, Jenny kept behind Quinn as they headed for her room. "Do you remember what I asked you on Mardi Gras? Before I had to go?" she asked, once they were closer to the door, out of earshot of any students milling about.

	From: whodoo	Date: April 14th, 2011 10:47 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Considering she was given a simple answer without much of any detail, Quinn's only response to that was an equally simple "Good". She thought to ask for details, but if Jenny wanted to give them, she would have. Normally, she did. Jenny was a bubbly enough personality to happily divulge information as to why things were good.

When they had briefly talked during her Mardis Gras party, Quinn had the feeling that something was off with the younger girl. Drunk as she was, she still noticed it. That had only been confirmed in the short time they talked in private. When Jenny brought the topic up again, that feeling returned, and the frown was briefly visible as she went to close the door behind them.

"Yes, I remember," she answered once the door was shut and she turned to look at the blonde. Quinn offered the bed as a place for the two of them to sit, waiting for Jenny to do so before she bothered to sit. "And I assume you remember my answer?"

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 15th, 2011 01:48 am (UTC)		(Link)

"I do," Jenny replied quickly, glancing sidelong at the older girl. She took the offered seat, settling herself onto the edge of the mattress and folding her legs comfortably. At least it seemed like they might not have to beat around the bush. Something told her that Quinn was onto this strangeness transpiring between them.

"Of course I do, I.." she paused for a moment, pausing to gather her thoughts properly. "There was a time when that was all I wanted to hear from you. Did I ever tell you that? Did you like.. know? That I liked you that much?"

Pausing again, the blonde moved her hands into her lap, wringing them slightly. "Maybe I've been reading too many romance books, but I wouldn't consider it dramatic to say that you changed my life. You showed me so much, and not even just.. like that."

	From: whodoo	Date: April 18th, 2011 08:38 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Quinn stayed silent for a moment. Long enough for her to actually try to think back long enough to answer properly, trying to remember if Jenny had said anything. If she did, Quinn had never picked up on it. She wasn't exactly the brightest girl in school. "I... don't think you did. Or if you did, it was in such a roundabout way that I didn't pick up on it."

She let out a sigh and set the book beside her so that she could lean back on her hands. Quinn couldn't really figure out what sort of things Jenny meant. The only thing she could have showed the girl was the pleasure of being with another woman. But there was apparently more to that. So, she turned her head to Jenny with a curious look. "... Like what?"

	From: 867_5309	Date: April 20th, 2011 10:27 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny blanched a little, just looking momentarily embarrassed. She had never told anyone about the depth of the feelings she had gone through for Quinn; even with Sera, she had really only grazed the surface of what she thought of Quinn. It was casual but still private sort of, but she supposed if she had to fess up to anyone, it might as well be Quinn herself. Even if feelings weren't their usual department.

"Like lots. I mean, like how to be myself.. like that I could be who I am, and do what I feel.. before I had you in my life, I never would have even thought about.. you know, liking girls or anything like that," she tried to explain, trailing off a bit. "It was never said, but I think my parents just expect that I'll grow up and marry a boyfriend and have two kids and a dog and all of that and I.. I mean, that sounds nice, sure. But I know that it isn't my only option. I was so deadset in making my parents proud, I never considered.. I might not want to be what they want me to be. But you made me feel all right about it."

Wringing the hands in her lap again, Jenny kept speaking, needing to get it all out at once. She didn't need the chance to hesitate. "When we would just be together.. weekends at your house, or in the summers or whatever, even if we were sneaking around, I felt like I had a girlfriend for the day, for the hour. I started learning all of these.. things from you, that were.. uhm, fun and stuff," she blushed slightly. "But there was more to it than that for me. I know you didn't.. really think of me like a girlfriend. But sometimes even though we were no strings attached, but I'm kind of guilty of breaking that in my mind. Guess I'm better at hiding my feelings than I thought.. all along, I thought you had to know how I really felt about you.. I figured you had to know and if you weren't going to make a move.. I don't know. The more we did, the more I thought I wanted this, and then you'd just.. pull away until you needed me again."

The blonde bit her lip, sighing a little. "Sorry, I'm just being sensitive. You're not a mind-reader, you clearly didn't know I wanted something more. I should have spoke up, but I didn't.. want to ruin everything."

	From: whodoo	Date: April 25th, 2011 10:52 pm (UTC)		(Link)

There were very few times where Quinn was ever speechless or didn't know what to say. She usually had some sort of response, whether it be verbal or a physical act, but this time there was nothing but a few blinks at the blonde sitting next to her. She had no idea Jenny felt this way.

After a moment, she did manage to come up with a response. "I... guess that makes two guilty parties. You've gotten yourself under my skin, doll. And I suppose you're right, you should have said something. I don't pick up on these things easily and I suppose I figured as you didn't say anything you were happy with the way things were."

She let out a small sigh, and the corner of her mouth turned down into a small frown. Despite this sudden clearing of air, something told her there was more to it. That this wasn't an admission that was going to end in a way they both liked. So she paused, and let Jenny continue on with whatever it was she wanted to get to.

	From: 867_5309	Date: May 5th, 2011 05:37 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"I was happy," Jenny replied quickly, desperately wanting to make that clear. Her hands in her lap tensed up, fingers interlacing, squeezing. "I wasn't unhappy, if I made it seem like that then I don't.. know, I didn't mean to. But I wasn't unhappy at all.. I was just sort of day-dreaming things into more than they were."

She couldn't help but smile, however, to Quinn's comment. She had gotten under her skin, something she hadn't even really realized. Though when she thought about it, she supposed there had to be a reason that Quinn usually went along with whatever she wanted.

"Mis-communication, I guess."

She shifted a little on the bed, turning to face Quinn more fully, and managing a very small smile. "I have to tell you more than how I felt though, you probably.. realize that by now."

	From: whodoo	Date: May 12th, 2011 10:16 pm (UTC)		(Link)

This was all well and good and the admissions of both so far were great, but Quinn still had that nagging feeling that sharing emotions and thoughts wasn't entirely the point of this talk. "Yea, miscommunication," she repeated with a bit of an absent tone as she tried to figure out what Jenny might be after.

The only thing that came to mind was that she might be breaking off this little beneficial friendship. If there was more than this and Jenny wasn't getting happier, then it couldn't be going in a good direction.

Quinn's eyes never left Jenny's face when she turned, though after the mention of more, her eyes fell to the bed for a moment. There was a small nod before her eyes turned back to Jenny's. "Yea, I figured there was more to it. Well, lay it on me." Might as well get it over with.

	From: 867_5309	Date: May 13th, 2011 04:04 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny felt bad immediately, more or less reading the disappointment in Quinn's tone. She could only drag this out for so long, it was now or never. It had to be now, no matter how awkward it was, it was better than letting this spiral out of control and hurt not only both of them, but Sera as well. Before today, she probably wouldn't have believed that Quinn could be hurt by her. Now, she was kind of worrying that she might have been hurting her already.

There was really no sense in mincing words any longer. "I have a girlfriend," the blonde whispered, her eyes lowering to the bed again, staring at the blankets instead. It was easier than eye contact. "I've really.. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I couldn't.. it never seemed like the time, and I just-- I'm sorry."

Finally looking up from the blanket, she tried to search Quinn's face for a reaction, still unsure what it might be at this point.

	From: whodoo	Date: May 30th, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)		(Link)

While Quinn expected bad news to come it still didn't quite prepare her for hearing it. Jenny said those first three words and it felt like she'd been slapped across the face. Quinn's eyes quickly moved from Jenny to the bed again.

Jenny had gotten to her in their time together and she had become almost painfully aware of it during this conversation. For a moment she was angry, she was hurt, confused, and unsure all wrapped up together in a giant mass of shit.

But Quinn didn't pride herself on keeping her emotions hidden for no reason. After that initial shattering moment, she reigned it in, took a breath, and looked back up at Jenny with a bit of a pout. "Pity. But I suppose, if you're happy."

Then, Quinn had a rather selfish thought. "Though, I do have one favor to ask."

	From: 867_5309	Date: June 1st, 2011 05:59 am (UTC)		(Link)

Jenny had been expecting something worse, maybe even a slap or something. She wouldn't have really objected, she could have dealt with it. She felt bad now, about everything being so misunderstood between them, and how it had all turned out. If she had been thoughtless enough to hurt the older girl, then a slap wasn't out of the question.

But the pout and nonchalant tone sort of took her back, even though she should have known what to expect from Quinn. That was part of their problem, the brunette always seemed to be pulling back from her, playing a game and trying to prove who cared less. She almost would have preferred to be slapped than pouted at like that.

"I am very happy," she replied cautiously, looking up from the bed and at Quinn again, pouting back some. "What's that?" she asked of the favor, wringing her hands in her lap again as she waited. Whatever it was, she knew she owed her at least that much.