From: mightbeclever	Date: January 27th, 2011 05:00 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"I somehow don't think that this will hurt her more." He grumbled, putting the bottle and case on the desk before leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. "If I'm a waste case, she'll just pick up and leave. And we'll all be better for it."

But then they were back to whatever it was that was bothering him, and Leon stared at his feet again. He didn't want to tell Michi. Merlin, he didn't want to tell more people than he had already. Even if Rowan and Gael were all hip to being 'truthful'. "Just trust me...it's bad."

	From: gimmeskittles	Date: January 27th, 2011 05:10 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Don't be an idiot," she said indignantly. "If you're not honest with her Leon, she will hate you forever."

She shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest. "Look, I know you don't want to tell the truth but it always comes out whether you want it to or not," she shrugged. "Trust me," she added with a little grin.

	From: mightbeclever	Date: January 27th, 2011 06:21 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Yeah, because she and everyone fucking else wants to know that if she had a dick, I'd find her more sexually attractive." He blinked, then, before groaning. He'd just said that, hadn't he? Bloody fuck, he wasn't even drunk this time. What the fucking hell was wrong with him? "Even if I am honest, she'll hate me forever. There? Happy? Fucking do-da-day, and all that fucking crap."

Irritated, he leaned forward again flicked his finger over his laptop's mouse pad. "Save your speeches, too. I don't want to fucking hear them."

	From: gimmeskittles	Date: January 27th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Michi's eyes went a bit wide at that and she leaned closer. Oh fuck. She had not been expecting that. "Hey," she gave his shoulder a little push. "Don't fucking blow me off like that," she said a touch angrily. "I'm not going to give you a fucking speech but I've had to go through this before. I'm here to fucking talk with you not to talk at you," she frowned.

This was kind of insane though. "So... you're gay," she said quietly. "So is half the school," she shrugged. "Besides, I knew your taste was too good to just be European," she teased gently. "Sure it's not something you want to announce to the entire school but letting yourself spiral out of control because of it..." she shook her head. "That's some serious bullshit."

	From: mightbeclever	Date: January 27th, 2011 10:06 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Yeah, well...I'm not spiraling out of control, thanks." Except he was, but was too stubborn to admit it. What happened at the New Year's party wouldn't have happened two years ago, or even last year. Since the start of his Senior year, Leon's head had been screwed on backwards enough that anyone with eyes could see the change.

"And what does 'your taste was too good' mean? I could have terrible taste for all you know." He wasn't even sure what the conversation was about anymore...aside from something other than Adelaide.

	From: gimmeskittles	Date: January 27th, 2011 10:14 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"Don't insult me Leon Shaw," she said giving him a serious look. "Anyone with eyes can see it."

"It means the clothes you wear and the things you buy are nice, it's a compliment and it was supposed to lighten the mood sour puss," speaking off... "Want some skittles?" she said offering him a package.

	From: mightbeclever	Date: January 27th, 2011 10:58 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"What do you want me to do? Just walk right up to her and say, 'sorry, have to tell you, thought giving you a shag and trying to fall madly in love with you would mean I'd stop fancying blokes, but it didn't'? She'd hate me, and she'd.... I don't know."

As for being offered skittles? He jsut sighed and nodded before holding out his hand.

	From: gimmeskittles	Date: January 27th, 2011 11:26 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Michi poured out some skittles in his hand, trying to think of the right thing to say. "It's not going to be pretty," she said gently.

"You... you had sex with her?" she hit herself in the forehead. "You had to know that was a terrible idea, that... that you couldn't change who you are by having sex with her," she sighed heavily. "She's going to be a mess but you can't keep dragging her along, it'll get worse."

"It's up to you whether you want to tell her the honest truth or not Leon. I won't lie, it's going to be bad either way." She felt for him, really she did, she hadn't even told her own mother yet about her sexuality. It was definitely something she could sympathize with.

"I know that we don't really have the best past or anything but I can be here for you, not to sound cheesy and cliche, but you're going to need someone to like... wreck shit with. Have you ever tried therapeutic wrecking? It really does the soul good. When I found out I was pregnant, I beat the shit out of the quodpot bleachers and felt like eighty times better," she gave him a little smile.

	From: mightbeclever	Date: January 28th, 2011 01:25 am (UTC)		(Link)

He looked at the skittles for a while, snorting a little as he listened to her. Everyone seemed to want to be there to talk to him; Jake, AB, Rowan....Michi. What the hell? He didn't think it was because he earned any 'great guy' awards.

"Heh, the best I've felt in a long time was when Stas gave me a hit of cocaine." He admitted, "I know...I know I shouldn't, but I think about it. I want to go back to it."

No reason, he guessed, not to be honest. They'd already started down that path anyway. "I wish I wasn't, you know. Everything would be better if I was just normal."

	From: gimmeskittles	Date: January 29th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Michi's frowned deepened. She couldn't chastise him for destructive behavior when she was just as guilty. "It's a crutch," she shrugged. "It's just... I know, we all do it, but to a certain extent. There are people who care about you and if you keep at this you could really hurt yourself. I don't know, maybe that's your goal."

"Do you know how many times I've thought the same exact thing? I wish I wasn't bi. I wish I wasn't pregnant. I wish I had a father who loved me. I wish I wasn't the way I am. But the sooner you except it... the better it gets. You don't have to hate yourself forever."

	From: mightbeclever	Date: January 31st, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)		(Link)

"There are a lot of people that would be better off without me around, too." He sighed, though, slouching in his chair was he stared at the wall. "Sometimes I wouldn't mind if everything just stopped. I think the world would be better off."

But then he was listening to her again, frowning as he shook his head. From his point of view, at right that moment...there wasn't any way for it to get better. "My mum won't ever speak to me again. I won't be allowed home. How's that supposed to be getting better?"

	From: gimmeskittles	Date: February 1st, 2011 02:21 am (UTC)		(Link)

"Even if you can come off as a bit of an asshole, you make things around here a little more colorful," she gave him a grin but she felt like doing anything but grinning.

"I'm sorry, I really am. You can always keep it quiet from your family, but you've got to accept it for yourself," she shifted a little on the bed and took a deep breath. "I know. It sucks. You can't make anyone else accept it, but you can be happy with the choices you make."

"Come on," she said standing up. "Hug it out," she smacked his shoulder and held her arms open.