Tatum had been having a dream, one which she could only vaguely recall the players in, when Sam crawled up into the bed with her. It had been a long night, an even longer one after surgery, and between the drugs and the shock of everything that had gone on, she was more than a little groggy and hazy as she came around. It was the first time she had opened her eyes, that she could remember, since arriving in the waiting room with Michi the night before. Her last memory was only of the bright white lights, and of healers rushing over to take her out of Michi's arms, and how bad everything hurt.

Everything that had gone on, with the wolf and the drive to the hospital, seemed like a faded blur. She remembered screaming, trying to fight back, and how bad everything hurt. She was still sore and things, but the drugs and potions they had her on had to be good, because it was nothing in comparison to the hot pain she recalled from the night before. Pain was one of the few things that she remembered clearly. Speaking to Michi had been a haze, and she wasn't even sure if she had spoken to the healers, she had been way too phased out by the time they got to her.

She wasn't in her room, that much was clear, and it was only a matter of seconds that she blinked a few times and realized where she was. Blur or not, the last night was clear, but.. why someone was in bed with her now wasn't so clear. She didn't know who she had been expecting, but she weakly turned her head to the side and was rather surprised to see Sam holding onto her. Her throat felt incredibly raw, but she tried her best to speak up. "I-I've been better man," she managed to get out, hoarsely.

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He could feel hot tears spilling out and rolling down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Tate," he couldn't stop his lips from shaking as he reached over and brushed some hair out of her face. "I never meant to hurt anyone," his stomach turned.

He had done this to her, he had nearly killed her. It was a miracle she had survived at all. "I can't blame you if you never want to see me again after I tell you what I'm about to tell you."

"It's..." he looked her in the eyes. "It's all my fault. I... I did this to you and it's gonna effect you for the rest of your life. Tate... when Felix died, it was because of a werewolf and it bit and scratched me and my dad too," he swallowed hard. "And now I'm a monster and I did the same thing to you last night."

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She thought maybe it was just the drugs she was on, a whole hell of a lot more potent than her usual drugs, but she was totally lost with what Sam was saying. She squinted at him slightly, confused. "You n-never hurt anybody," she murmured back, hesitating as he spoke again. What exactly did he have to tell her? After what she had been through last night, she didn't think anything could surprise her.

Sam having something, everything, to do with last night though was the last thing she expected to hear. "W-What?" she managed to get out, staring back into his eyes. Feeling as groggy as she did, things were taking a long time to process, but it was slowly dawning on her. "That w-was-- you were t-the.."

Trailing off slightly, the redhead exhaled heavily, leaning back into the bed and feeling her own lower lip trembling slightly. Werewolf, Leland had been right about that. It made sense, didn't it? The damn thing was so huge, of course that made sense.. but she hadn't wanted to believe that. She was alive, but it was far from over. Turning her head a little so she was looking at Sam directly again, she reached over and touched his face, running her fingers over the ghost of the cut across his face. Le's piece of left of silver from his wand.

"Y-Your pretty face," she murmured, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes, making her squint again in an attempt to stop them. "I'm s-sorry too."

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The important part was over, he had told her but she hadn't kicked him out of the room, she hadn't even yelled at him. Was she actually apologizing. "Y-yeah," he sighed. "I was- I am the werewolf."

He put his hand over hers. "Enough of that," he whispered. "Don't apologize to me for that. I deserved it. I shouldn't... I can't be trusted," it made him feel sick to his stomach. The words cut like glass across his tongue but he believed them.

"I'm so sorry I ruined everything," he sniffled. He figured Mack would kill him when she next saw him, he probably deserved that too. "I aint gonna leave ya alone in this," he promised. "I'll be there with ya every full moon and I'll make wolfsbane for ya if ya want. I..." he knew he was going off on a tangent but he was so relieved that she didn't hate him... well she didn't hate him yet.

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Tatum swallowed hard, her throat still feeling rather hoarse and raw, as she shifted herself carefully to lean against Sam more. "I-It's not your fault," she replied quietly, though she felt worry already beginning to gnaw mercilessly at her. This wasn't over, and it was going to have terrible repercussions. But they weren't alone, he wasn't alone, and they would work it out. Her heart had always gone out to him after what had happened to Felix, even if she had never known all of the details. For her own good, it seemed. But her heart still went out to him, and she couldn't be angry at him for hurting her, because the same thing had happened to him. This was no one's fault, as frustrating as it was, it had just happened.

"Y-You didn't-- ... I mean, i-it'll work out, like I-I know you'll.. y-you'll be there. I-I'm here, right? Things c-could be worse, I t-thought I was.." she trailed off a bit, chewing her lip without looking up at Sam, she still felt dizzy and her dream was fresher in her brain than she thought it normally would be after so long. "I t-thought I was done, I thought.. I w-was ready to meet Frankie, like I r-really thought I.. I w-was preparing myself.. y-you know, in case there's like.. h-heaven or whatever.. or h-hell, I guess, for me. I dunno. D-Depends who you believe, r-right?" she murmured.

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He snuggled in closer when she scooted over to lean against him and pressed a warm kiss to her forehead. "I don't deserve a best friend like you," he whispered. He hated not telling his friends the truth about what had happened to his family, up until that point. He should have told them sooner, it would have kept them safe.

"I'm gonna take care of ya Tate," he promised. "We- we'll take care of each other I swear. I aint gonna let anything bad happened to ya from now on. I can't hurt ya no more," it was like punching himself in the stomach when he said it. And though he was shaking he at least knew that was true. "When I run with my dad in NOLA we take care of each other, it's like bein' a part of a pack. We... we keep each other in line. Y-you're a part of the pack now if ya wanna."

Tatum talking about Frankie near killed him. His chest felt like it turned to ice. If he thought the guilt was bad now he couldn't even imagine what it would have been like if he had managed to kill her. "No," tears were streaming down his cheeks now. "You survived for a reason. You're stronger'n that," he said adamantly. "An' when you are old an' ready to go, aint no place too good for you. You hear me? You got a good heart, one'a the best I know."

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Despite her best efforts to stay alert, Tatum found herself fading a bit, particularly as she rested her head against Sam. It was the least painful part of her, aside from a mild headache, most of the nagging pain seemed to be in her heavily bandaged upper half. "P-Pack?" she murmured back, lifting her head just a bit. "That w-would.. y-your dad wouldn't mind? He w-won't be mad?" she asked, chewing her lip all over again.

When she saw Sam tearing up, that was all it took to get her going again, and she fiercely shook her head at his words. "I-I'm not even.. I'm n-not strong, if Michi d-didn't-- I d-didn't do anything really, I just.. I w-was gonna give up, I t-thought I was.."

She trailed off a little again, resting back onto her pillow and closing her eyes for a few moments. She had a lot of thoughts going through her head, considering everything, telling Sam's dad about this, going to NOLA to run.. was that what wolf packs did? She didn't think she could deal if she had to eat a poor little rabbit or something, like raw.

"I w-wanted to go, I thought it'd just.. b-be easier. I w-was ready."

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"My dad loves you already Tate, he was devastated when he uh... you know, found you weren't gonna be his daughter-in-law," he laughed weakly. "He's gonna be mad at me though," Sam said shaking his head. "It was stupid what I done. The wolfsbane... it's like drinkin' fire, everything hurts, it's worse an' there's this fightin' inside itme all the time. Like, the wolf wanted out even if only for the moon," he had never been able to tell someone and be honest about just how awful it was to drink that potion. "But when I just let it happen, there's no conflict, half the pain, half the recovery time..." he trailed off. "But I hurt you."

"You're stronger'n you give yourself credit for," he said gently. "A lotta bad stuff has happened to you in your life and you're still here. And you did do somethin'. You made me remember who I was when the wolf was attackin. There's no other reason why he would have stopped," it was weird talking about the wolf. He knew it was a part of him but he also hadn't been able to connect with or control that part. Tatum had done something to pull Sam out of the blackness just enough to save her.

"It sure as hell aint gonna be easy Tate but life aint easy. It's worth it though, once you get past all the shit and the fuckin nonsense, it's worth it. And there's a whole mess 'a people who aint ready to see you go. I know it felt easier, I been there Tate. Just closing your eyes and letting whatever happen happen," he sighed. "And here we are, both still breathin and that's how it should be."

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She did her best to hide the upset on her face as Sam described what taking the wolfsbane was like, it certainly didn't sound like something she would be looking forward to, but it was obviously for the best. Without it, things could get out of hand.. but she couldn't hold Sam responsible for wanting an easier way out. What had she just been saying? It was easier to just give into things. If the tables were turned, if she had been the wolf first, she couldn't imagine herself not trying not taking the potion at least once.

Unfortunately, accidents happened, even just once in a while. "I-I ain't strong, not.. not l-like you're strong. And I m-mean that, you're s-strong.. but I k-kicked your ass, m-made you run off," she half-joked. She could vaguely remember Michi telling her something like that last night. She wasn't sure what she had done to bring Sam around, but he was right, she must have done something even if it wasn't physical. She had gotten through to him, struck something in him somewhere, enough to let him back off.

"L-Life isn't ever easy," she murmured weakly, head still heavy on the pillow as she reached up, weakly taking hold of the front of Sam's shirt. "I w-wanna stay now, I.. I-I'm just gonna have t-to deal with e-everything and.. t-things might have to change, b-but. I'm h-here, and.. M-Mack would be k-kinda sad if I died, I think," the redhead added, squinting her eyes shut for a quick second.

"I was.. I w-was kind of excited to see F-Frankie though.. e-even if everybody else t-thought she was a bitch, I.. I l-liked her a lot," she murmured, trailing off again and just staring over at the white hospital wall. Dying would have been rough, but she did sort of owe Frankie an apology. She would be lying if she didn't say she didn't often have pangs of guilt about being so open and happy with Mack, when she and Frankie had been such a mess, due at least in part to her own inability to accept herself. Now that she was accepting herself fully for who she was, she couldn't help but feel bad for how she had hurt the younger girl during their friendship. Their catastrophic kiss just shortly before the other girl died was never a memory that was far from her mind, nagging her about how it had all been her fault in the end.

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He grinned. "I bet you did, handed my ass right to me on a platter," he said with a crooked smile.

"Good," he said, suddenly relieved. He rubbed her back gently. "Good. She would be sad and I would be sad, a whole of people would be sad. I gotta tell ya though. I got this feeling that Mack is gonna kick my ass next time she sees me," he tried to smile again and only really made a half attempt.

"I understand," he said lightly. "If I could have the chance to talk to Felix just one more time... I would take it too. I would want to tell him I'm sorry for failing him, for not saving him but..." he sniffled lightly. "There comes a point when you have to acknowledge that there was nothing else we could have done though."

"I'm really glad you made it Tate."

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It was still very early and she was very tired, and the redhead almost let herself doze off a little before Sam mentioned Mack, making her tense up all over. Would she be furious? Probably. Especially if she knew exactly who to blame. Tatum's stomach sank a little, and she lifted her head to look seriously at her best friend. "I w-won't let her, she can't-- she c-can't get mad at you, and t-then make excuses for m-me next month. W-We're the s-same now, you and m-me and if she has a p-problem with you, then she has a problem with me."

Trailing off a little, Tatum listened to his words with only the faintest pout. She could have done something though, something she should have done ages ago. It wouldn't bring Frankie back, but if she weren't such a coward, she'd be gone and no one would be in this mess. "I c-could have.. I a-always said I c-couldn't live without her, and I just.. I s-should have done it too, I s-said I would, that I'd f-follow her anywhere but I didn't," the redhead explained sadly, letting out a shaky exhale.

"I d-don't know if it was a dream, or the d-drugs, or my head but.. she w-was here, in the r-room. Before you c-came," she added, feeling a bit foolish for talking about the close encounter with her dead friend she had just woken up from. But details and things said from the dream, or whatever it had been, kept floating to the surface of her mind now. "S-She doesn't think M-Mack takes very good care of me, and I.. I w-wanted to know w-why she just left me, but she didn't.. it was m-my fault for not k-killing myself too. T-That's what a pact is, right?"

This was the most she had talked about Frankie to anyone in ages, Rath and Julian included. Her brother knew a lot about what she went through with Frankie, how she felt about the younger girl, how her death had effected her. But even Rath didn't know about their agreement, how fast she had agreed that if anything ever happened to Frankie, she had promised to off herself right after. Together forever or all of that rubbish. She felt suddenly uncomfortable, admitting it all, and she curled her face into Sam's chest more. "G-Good thing I'm a p-pussy or I guess I-I woulda been dead long ago anyway," she sighed. "I j-just miss her, is that c-crazy? She's not even.. she was n-never even very nice but I m-miss her so much."

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Sam felt comforted in knowing that Tatum had his back, he knew she always did but there was something different about it now. Pack mentality, he supposed. If we go down, we go down together. He felt responsible for her but to the same degree he felt like he had someone to watch out for him all the time now. It was easier being a wolf when you didn't have to do it alone. "She deserves a good punch, I can let her take it," he said, almost smiling. "But thanks Tate, it means a lot to hear you say that."

He listened carefully as she spoke, feeling his chest tighten. "You aint weak for livin', yer brave for trying. Don't you be thinkin' yer a coward for not... followin' her. It's a damn selfish thing to do."

Sam was sure she wouldn't actually listen to him, not now anyways that she was practically falling asleep but he needed to say it. "She left everyone behind and you aint to blame for that. It was a selfish thing to do and it weren't you're fault, hear me? A pact shouldn't be about leavin' the world, it should be about facin' it."

"It's okay to miss her, I miss the crazy bitch too but I aint about to fling myself off a building," he didn't mean it to come out the way he did, his arms tightened around her instinctively. "I don't know what the hell I'd do without ya," he whispered.

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