first year

Rose stood, wide-eyed and silent, looking up at the stool on the steps in front of her.

What did it mean?

How could a hat--- how could a hat determine such a thing as sorting, the single-handedly the most important decision of one's life!? Wasn't-- wasn't sorting huge, a make or break decision that determined your friends for the next seven years? How you acted, where you lived... that's what William had told her. So how did Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry leave all of that up to a dingy old piece of cloth? It made no sense to her. There should be a test. An extensive test that you take over many months, to completely ensure character and integrity of the results. Not put on some--- hat!

She did not trust this hat.

Rose bit the inside of her lip, watching in pure horror as one by one her fellow classmates walked up, rather fearlessly in her opinion, to meet their dooms and be sorted. What did that even mean! Sorted. You could openly sort people into groups? Bunch them all together and put a blanket term to describe them? Wasn't that stereotyping? Wasn't doing that a bad thing?

She didn't want to be typed. She did not want to be typed at all.

Shaking her head in an anxious manner, Rose closed her eyes in an attempt to think of a way out of this that did not include making a scene. Any possible outcome would, though, because they were in the middle of a enormous Hall. How were you supposed to think with all these people around you!

In a sudden fit of apprehension, Rose turned her back to the hat and stool to crouch down within the sea of black robes. She could not do this. She would not do this. She would simply sit like this, here, until they called her name, and then when she did not come up they would move on and the ground would swallow her up so she could leave and go back home. That sounded like a good plan.

And it was, until about ten seconds later when someone acted upon her curled into a ball at the knees position on the ground.

"Um?" she heard from above, accompanied by a few quick pokes to her back. Rose's eyes snapped open, and she straightened herself slightly to get a look of her botherer. "Are you alright?" the boy asked in a tentative tone, watching her with a weary eye.

"I don't want to be typed!" Rose spit out quickly, then ducked her head back down. Now if she could just--- someone was poking her again. The same boy.

"Could you get up? You're head-butting my knees," he spoke in a flat tone, which most definitely earned a glare. But she sighed as well, knowing that she may be acting a bit ridiculously.

"Fine," she let out, heaving another sigh. While standing back up, she discreetly brushed off her cloak with her hands. "I'm just nervous about getting sorted," Rose spoke in a low voice, eying the current person being sorted, and then her new... person. Friend? Acquaintance. Person. He was a boy.

Again, this boy gave her another weary look, then shook his head.

"What?" she asked, more startled than curious. If he was going to judge her, the least he could do was tell her what he was judging her on.

He licked his lips, hesitated for a moment, then barely whispered, "I think I might be nervous too."

Despite this being a very obviously serious confession, a light look formed on Rose's face. That was very nice of him, whether he had meant to make her feel better or simply get his own anxieties off his chest. She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear as she spoke. "I'm Rose."

"Thomas," he muttered, then quickly turned to face the front of the room again without another word.

Well? Rose thought as she began to lace her fingers into her hair nervously (but not as nervous as before); at least now she could hide behind him while they waited.

Best Friend

Rose let out a squeak, her hands clasping together at her mouth. "He said what?" she gasped, feeling very much upset for her friend. "Danielle!" she let out loudly, which earned her a quieting motion from Danielle's hands accompanied by a couple of shushes. "Everyone knows you and Donovan have been dating for ages. That's unbelievable," Rose spoke more quietly across the table, bending over slightly as she gripped the edge with both hands.

"I know. I'm just glad that Donovan didn't..." Danielle trailed off, her mouth eventually snapping shut. Rose watched as her friend's face froze, and it took her a couple of moments to understand what was happening. A quick glance over her shoulder explained everything.

There he was! The culprit! Was he walking over here? Her eyes widened.

He was walking over to their table. He was coming over to where they were sitting.

He was right behind her.

"Hi, Danielle," Rose heard over her head, feeling the air behind her move. She watched Danielle barely react, and before she realized what she was doing, Rose spun around and shot up to meet the boy boldly. Her legs already felt shaky, and her heart was racing too fast to be healthy, but her friend needed help.

"You are not allowed to talk to Danielle right now," her voice came out more shrilly and less authoritative than she had hoped. But at least her pointed finger wasn't wavering? Charlie Spinnet gave a look that could only be described as muted surprise followed by a general sizing-up of the figure before him. That did not help her feel empowered. Actually, it made her feel quite objectified. Why did boys always have to do that?

It took the Gryffindor a couple of moments to react, and while he was doing that, Rose's mind raced. She bit nervously on the inside of her cheek, thinking, he wouldn't do anything here, right? It was the middle of the Great Hall, anything inappropriate would create a scene and spread like wildfire, which she knew he would not want just as much as her. Or, well, he was a Gryffindor, and they actually tended to like doing things like that.... her stomach sank.

"Excuse me?" he finally spoke, which caught her off guard. She knew he had heard what she'd said. He was barely a foot away from her.

"I said---" she started, blinking quickly. "That it's not a very good idea for you to be here, right now." There, that had sounded better.

But Charlie Spinnet casually laughed, which made her feel positively green. "I was coming over to say hello, that's all."

That hadn't been his intent, they all saw him stop and look at Danielle, that wasn't--- what happened! Rose's tongue pushed to the roof of her mouth, feeling her frustration bubble at his lack of logic. "Just go away!" she blurted, and rather loudly. At that, the general vicinity became substantially quieter, and if it were possible, and her face became redder. This was going beyond horribly. She had just wanted to be a good friend and not have Danielle's breakfast be ruined! Her breakfast was definitely ruined, because it felt like she was going to throw it up any second, but other breakfasts were at stake.

She slurred something about that being impossible, seeing as the Gryffindor table was on the other side of the Hall, and his rebuttal making no sense, and--- had he just winked at her? Rose's mouth dropped slightly ajar, now honestly struggling at how to even go about ending this catastrophe. Did he have no bounds? Had he just mentioned a broom closet? She did not like this boy.

"I--- I----" And how was he so tall?

"She said go away," a voice spoke angrily from a couple of seats down the table. Despite her frozen limbs, Rose somehow managed to jerk her head back over her shoulder. Oh. He really hadn't needed to do that. She had been.... handling. It.

Well, no, she had obviously been drowning in this confrontation, and for that, she gave the standing figure of Thomas McCormack a feeble smile.

Snapping her head back to muster a pitiful glare, which, in conjunction with what she hoped was most of the table behind her, Rose hoped looked intimidating. After a few seconds, their year-mate waved his hands in an off-handed manner and finally walked away.

And not a moment too soon either, because as soon as Spinnet was out of sight, in a rush Rose lost all the strength in her legs and fell back down into her seat with a thump.

"I'm sorry!" she cried quietly, both her hands going to her forehead with her elbows up on the table. "That was planned so much better in my head," she sighed miserably, suppressing the shaking feeling that was threatening to take over her body.

Danielle shook her head, and lightly smiled. "He's gone now! That's what counts. Thank you," she nodded, and broke off a piece of her toast to nibble on it after she spoke. She held out a piece across the table, but Rose shook her head.

What counted? Her eyes wandered tiredly down the table, eventually (and surprisingly) meeting Thomas'. After a few moments she decided yes, she supposed that was what counted.

giddy

An electrified shriek escaped her lips, and Rose pulled her hands back despite taking another step forward to the animal circling her feet. Her dragon hide gloves gave a familiar scratch between her fingers, but she paid no mind to them. Other thoughts were preoccupying her mind, like how this assignment should be worrying her, but it wasn't because of its absolute ridiculous nature.

Where were you even supposed to begin with the task of taking care of a Jarvey for forty-eight hours? She pulled her lips back in an effort to contain the laughter threatening to bubble over from watching the scene infront of her. Did Professor Kettleburn expect them to take it into their dormitory, and sing it to sleep tonight? Read it lullabies, feed it special food? In spite of her better judgement, Rose finally released a stifled a laugh into the better part of her arm.

"How are we supposed to do this if we can't even get a hold of it?" she asked, unable to keep herself controlled. It just-- was an insult-slinging oversized ferret! How were they--- she just did not--- get it.

Kendall Broadmoor, in response, let out a stunning growl with rage-like quality. She could only describe him in comparison to a grumpy troll; bent over, with his arms held out wide as he showed his teeth in aggravation. Was that helping their situation? Most likely not. He was most definitely not fairing well with this, nor finding it as amusing as her.

"You old, nasty feet! You know what that means--- cock-up, born of a bloody mother, straight out of the--- " Rose's eyes popped with shock as the creature's fowl words; good thing she was laughing so hard that having to block out what it was saying was not difficult.

Kendall howled, swiping generally in direction of the Jarvey. "I don't---- know! Care of Magical Creatures is supposed to be easy! WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!" He began to follow it, arms open wide. It, still spewing strong, easily dodged Kendall's clutches and began to hop in the grass.

"Well..." Rose started, pulling her hands back behind her back as she thought for a moment.

"I don't want a Ravenclaw answer I want a real person answer!" he snapped, throwing his hands up. She pressed her lips together, trying her best to hide her amusement. A Ravenclaw answer was a real person answer, in her opinion, but she somehow figured now was not the time to bring that up. Instead, through her laughs, she breathily responded.

"This is.... bollocks! Complete bloody bollocks, that's what it is!--- whoops," her attempt to please Kendall had only resulted in the Jarvey going off on a tangent about bollocks.

As Kendall began to chase the creature around in a circle, Rose fell to the ground, her knees pressing into the grass before her body toppled over completely. Maybe it would be nice to just lay here, with the chilled breeze and warm sun, the grass tickling her skin. At the very least it would give her stomach a break from doubling over. That would be nice.

She was just thinking how she should layout in the grass more often when--- Rose shrieked as the Jarvey jumped onto her face, using it only as a momentary landing pad before bounding upward toward a nearby tree.

"Kendall!" she cried, shooting up immediately to begin wiping at her face with her hands. Rose looked at him a panicked expression, as if what had just happened was life threatening. There was a momentary silence (even the Jarvey thought that prudent), and everything broke loose again.

Now it was his turn to laugh. Kendall fell down next to her, holding his stomach as he went. Despite her terror, she did feel a smile creep back onto her lips. They were going to fail this assignment.

muggle

Weren't all tables around her empty? That was the first thing Rose thought when an unwanted guest unceremoniously dropped his belongings and body into the seat across from her. A few subtle glances around confirmed that yes, there were quite a few free places for individual study in the library at this current time that did not include right here. She scrunched her nose slightly, put-off by the reality of having to share a space while attempting this rather nasty term paper. She had just been about to get over it, too, and go back to work until it dawned on her who this visitor was. Her eyes went wide.

Rupert Brookstanton.

She didn't trust him.

What male majored in Women & Gender Studies? He would sometimes say things in class that made her feel the need to turn around and stare, or make her question her own thinking about a topic, and--- she didn't like that. Somewhere deep down Rose realized her judgement for him went against everything the subject taught, but--- it was just so obvious he was just in it for an easy way to get girls' attention!

He would not get her attention.

Firmly deciding upon this, Rose let out a huff and dramatically opened her book to promptly read it. All of it. Every single word. This was a library, wasn't it? It was a free country they lived in. She didn't have to pay attention to an attractive older boy just because he was sitting within close proximity of her. Or because they were taking the same class either, for that matter. She didn't have to say anyt--- what was he doing.

Rose watched as Rupert Brookstanton proceeded to set up his things, strewing about his books, papers, pencils, etc., in a seemingly unorganized mess. He then casually opened up one of the books, pulled a couple of sheets of paper close, and began to take notes. While it was all obviously not exciting, offensive, or even her business, Rose openly observed him. She even squinted to read what he was writing about--- notes concerning the same paper she had been struggling with.

Most likely sensing that she had been staring, Rupert Brookstanton looked up at her, and smiled. But it was not a genuine smile that played on his lips, nor a friendly one, no no. His curved mouth made her think of someone that had been the sole solver of school-wide riddle and had just received word that his prize would be free access to all banned goods ever confiscated on campus.

Her response to him was immediate; her face burned and she quickly buried her nose back into her book.

Hidden behind her tome, she closed her eyes in an attempt to cool herself. Well that had been quite rude of her. Rather uncomfortable of him, but rude of her. That was all. Nothing more.

Just when Rose had almost completely refocused herself, she heard his chair drag against the floor, accompanied by the obvious shifting of a heavy weight onto the table. Feeling she could control herself this time, and too curious, she peaked over the top of the book for a look.

She was met by his expectant gaze; Rupert Brookstanton was staring at her intently, as if he had been able to see through the book's binding the whole time, and had simply been waiting for her to notice.

"Can I use this?" he asked finally, pointing to a small blue book that was mandatory to read for their class. That smile was back again. Where had he gotten it, from the sloppy floors of greek row?

Rose pursed her lips. Was there a polite way to say 'absolutely not'? Deciding their wasn't, but unable to say no, she just stared with her lips pressed together until he spoke again.

"Really?" He sat up straighter, and looked genuinely surprised. Or, annoyed. She couldn't tell. "Alright, what must I do for it?" he said, putting his hands up in a defensive manner.

Rose twisted her face, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. She--- no. Rather not wanting to have this qualify as a conversation, she rested the book in her hands down on the table and intensified her glare. Perhaps now he would understand.

That had been a poor choice. It only seemed that her harshness spurred him, because before Rose knew what was happening, she found herself jumping forward to grab the book up before he did. She was not fast enough, however, and over the wide table they both awkwardly vied for possession.

"You can't--- have it," she gritted through her teeth, feeling her fingers already beginning to slip.

"You do talk," he spoke in an amused tone, and because of that and the obvious glint in his eye, she lost her grip and he quickly snatched it away.

"No," Rose said stubbornly, dumping herself back into her chair with her arms crossed over her chest. He let out a chuckle, and in response, she scoffed thickly.

"I will be nice," he nodded, shaking the book slightly before opening it. She let out another disgruntled scoff, and wrapped her hands around the objects she did still have possession of. She focused on corralling them close, which, again had been a poor choice on her part, because she hadn't realized the extent of his 'niceness' until she heard it.

"Sex-positive feminism centers on the idea that sexual freedom is an essential component of women's freedom. As such, sex-positive feminists oppose legal or social efforts to control sexual activities---"

Her neck could have snapped from the severity of how she jerked it. He had meant--- he was being nice by reading it out loud? This was a library! People could hear! He wasn't even talking quietly! And---

"The issue of pornography was perhaps the first to unite sex-positive feminists, though current sex-positive views on the subject are wide-ranging and complex---"

"Stop!" Rose choked, her face now beet red. It was like he wanted her to take this personally. How-- why--- torture!

"What?" Rupert Brookstanton looked up innocently. "I am giving you important passages."

"You--! It---!" How had he turned the library, the library, into an awkward place? "That's not nice!" she rushed, throwing her hands up. "How is that nice?!"

"You do not think that empowering sex is nice?"

Her jaw dropped. How had he--- was that--- never had she been so caught in her own words--- how could she even--- too overwhelmed to function, Rose planted her face down into the table, forehead pressed and eyes closed.

"Do you always talk to people you don't know like this?" she mumbled, a rather pitiful attempt at deflection. She didn't even know why she tried, continued on talking, because it was stupid, but she did anyway.

"I know who you are," Rupert Brookstanton replied smartly, and her eyes flew open. "You are the frigid blonde, always in the front row. The silent beauty. Rose with the serious face from Sex and Motherhood."

Rose shot up, her fingers clawing into the wood. She was not frigid! And she was not-- not--- how could he possibly have noticed those things, when he was too busy collecting ridiculous girls' cell phone numbers?! "I am not---" she started, her voice breaking as she stood up. But he had begun to laugh again, which made her twist severely.

"I am not frigid," she hissed, leaning forward before roughly shoving all her things into knapsack and charging away. He could keep her bloody book, read it front to back all he wanted--- Rose covered her ears while she walked, unable to stop hearing his laughter. Stupid--- boy.

flustered

Rose shoved her hand at Octavius' mouth, stopping his lips from trailing any further down to her chest. Her hand bent and her fingers curled around the lower part of his face while her eyes widened. Even over their heavy breathing, she could quite clearly hear the front door to the flat open and close with a bang. And the voices, their voices--- what were Kendall and Thomas doing here? They had said--- they had said---- theywouldnotbehometonight!

Hence why she had brought over Octavius. If she had know this wouldn't be the case---her heart had already been beating fast, but now it was sputtering to a deathly level. It was a trick! A trap! Those nasty boys had played it all along because she refused to let them meet--

"Oh my god," she shuttered, and arched her back as her boyfriend did a very good job in temporarily distracting her chaotic thoughts. But---then---

They had begun to call out to her, to see if she was home. If she didn't respond they would barge in to check her room and if she did respond then they would barge on in here anyway and-- and--- thiscouldnotbehappening!

Her eyes no doubt looked like they were bugging out of their sockets, and she felt so out of breath her words must have come off like a murderer's. She feebly attempted to slow down Octavius' hands.

"My roommates," Rose croaked, looking up at him with a worried face. She had not formally introduced him Kendall and Thomas, both of whom she was 100% not ready for him to meet in this capacity because they were difficult when it came to things like this, and this would be a downright dreadful experience that she would never hear the end of, not to mention poor Octavius would be forever marked as that bloke and therefore have zero chance of ever not be made fun of by them and--- she didn't want that! She had purposely kept him away for as long as possible (which may or may not have been for multiple months) for this exact reason, for they could be stupid boys, and Octavius was not a stupid---

She let out a gasp as his hand slunk back to grip the inside of her thigh to hike her leg up. What was he doing there was no time for that anymore!

"They can't see you!" she rushed, so flustered her word choice suffered.

"Why not?" Octavius demanded huskily, his hot mannered tone taking her aback for a second.

"Like this?!" she responded incredulously, astonished that she even had to say it out loud. Rose pushed him away before he could respond, palm to face first (well, he was never speaking to her again; she would mourn no longer having access to his perfect-looking chest), effectively and aggressively dislodging herself from him. But it was already too late, because the door had swung open and--- in a vain attempt for anonymity, she launched her arm onto Octavius' face to cover it.

Then, she wasn't sure what was worse to endure; the pregnant silence, or the burst of laughter that followed it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she shrieked, her face already burning so fiercely eggs could be properly cooked on it. She shot up, momentarily forgetting that she was, in fact, stark naked. Thanks to the dim lighting from the living room, she could see Kendall's eyes pop and Thomas shout before hastily moving to cover his friend's eyes.

Inaudible noises escaped her as Rose awkwardly fumbled with the sheets to cover her front. Face beat red, she went to speak again, but Thomas beat her to it.

"Octavius Pepper?" Thomas boomed, squinting across the room. "That's who you've been seeing?!"

Rose's jaw dropped, as she was now finding it difficult to breathe. She let out a couple of soundless chokes, and eventually, did manage to jerk her head back and throw an undeserved glare at Octavius. What was he doing showing them his face? His uncomfortable smile quickly disappeared.

"YOU TWO---" Rose turned back, her concept of indoor/outdoor voices completely gone. Could you actually die of embarrassment? She stuttered, exacerbated, unable to form words. How could this be possibly happening? She did not do bad things to deserve situations like this, she had just wanted to spend the night in her bed and enjoy it with someone who she was growing to like---

"--- BREAKING AND ENTERING!" she screeched, her voice reaching new octaves as they continued to stand in the doorway. They'd gotten what they wanted, hadn't they?!

"WE LIVE HERE!" Kendall slung back, swaying to the wall for support as it now seemed he was having difficulty breathing through his incessant laughter.

"GET OUT, GET OUT!" she bellowed, haphazardly ripping the comforter off her bed to fearlessly charge the door. Both Kendall and Thomas jumped back in shock, their faces quite surprised. But before she could reach them, they'd run back to the safety of the kitchen.

She slammed the door shut, and locked it, but she still hear them laughing on the other side, so for that, Rose let out another shriek. They were horrid! Just--- horrid! Rose fell back to the door, still breathing heavily as she slid down it to the ground. Her knuckles were white from how tightly she was still gripping the heavy blanket around herself, and-- just. Horrid!

And then--- her eyes popped as her gaze swung across the room back to her bed and landed on Octavius, who was looking almost stunned. She couldn't even--- Rose immediately buried her hot face within the folds of her makeshift wrap.

TRAUMATIZED

Danielle had been quietly pressing food into her hands for the past twenty minutes, and Rose had been numbly eating them until couldn't muster the taste of ash in her mouth anymore. She did not want to eat, she did not want to cry, she did not want to do anything but just sit and--- breathe. But apparently that was too alarming to the other guests, so her father had initiated a chain of people that cared to conveniently create a nonstop loop filling the seat next to her.

Where she sat, huddled in the corner of the room, with her back pressed to the wall as much as it could possibly be. It was keeping her up, keeping her back straight and her chin high as thoughts of her deceased mother consumed and weighed down her body.

She knew her mother's death had been coming, she had been quite sick for some time, but--- she didn't feel prepared--- her mother, her mother--- she wasn't sure if spending her last months so close had helped ease or deepen the pain she was feeling now... there would be no way to tell. No logical way to determine that, there was just simply how she felt... now.

When Danielle disappeared and Kendall appeared she couldn't quite pinpoint, because it felt like they had seamlessly replaced one another. Except... Danielle had been sitting next to her, and Kendall was standing, leaning against the wall near her feet. He was being quiet, and she appreciated that.

But in the end, she just wanted to be left alone. Her friends' unwavering support was touching, but nonetheless still had become stifling.

Rose reached up, and tugged lightly on the cuff of Kendall's sleeves. "Could you find my brother?" she spoke, her eyes distracted as if focusing on something on the wall behind him. Kendall looked at her intensely for a moment, then slowly nodded. For insurance, he gently place his half empty glass into her hands before walking away. Which she immediately placed down at her feet.

Her skin felt tight, so tight, and subconsciously Rose brushed her fingers across her neck before clamping her hand to the front of it. This black outfit felt restricting, how could robes feel tight? It was on the precept of choking her, closing her throat and constricting her until she couldn't breathe another breath.

With Danielle, and now Kendall's, departure, she suddenly felt seized. Being alone wasn't what she wanted. Her father had been right. Her chest flared as thoughts of others leaving her too filled her, and Rose felt a deeply-seated panic take over. Where was Kendall, where was her brother--- where-- where--- she couldn't--- handle something else--- what if that would be the last time until she saw them, for months, however long she decided to hermit after this horrible day--- and now her thoughts were running, sinking much darker than they should have been because there was nothing else to focus on---

Rose hadn't realized she had not been sitting alone until she wasn't, and felt a familiar hand warm hers. She turned slowly, her fingers feeling limp within his as her anxieties calmed almost immediately. Thomas.

Since school had finished, she had been feeling uncomfortable around him, unsure of how to treat their relationship--- it didn't matter, now. It really--- didn't. Her thoughts casually acknowledged that acts like this had previously made her heart race, but they did not linger on that, now. Instead, they focused on how it was only making her chest ache further and her head hurt deeply.

She detached her hand from his and put it back in her lap.

Resting her head on the wall, Rose took in a shaky breath. "Will you help me leave?" she asked in a hollowed tone, eyes glued on the opposite wall's ceiling corner. This room was killing her, that was it. She needed the fresh fall air in her lungs, away from the overwhelming acknowledgement that there were too many pairs of eyes staring at her. Just one was enough.

Vaguely, she registered that Thomas was talking to her, speaking quick words with that quiet tone of his. But she frowned, as she assumed he was denying her request. She didn't know.

In the next moment, she was standing. She had left her prison, her legs were moving, and she felt a strong arm rest itself across her back. Blinking slowly, the objects and people around her slid by, and with each one Rose felt herself lean more and more heavily into Thomas' side, until she could feel his robes against her face. So much black overwhelmed her, and to avoid it, she closed her eyes entirely.

This hurt.

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