cris • tee • nuh (cristina_lacosa) wrote,
@ 2008-06-17 00:51:00

Entry tags:

+++estellaflavors

F L I N T ¤ estella

Happy • Angry • Sad • Concerned • Scared

Crying • Giddy • First Crush • Yule Ball • Innocent

Betrayed • Baby • Best Friend • Working • Traumatized

Wary • Drunk • Flustered • Bitchy • Paternal-Love

First Year • Graduating • Sorting • Hogwarts • Pick Your Own

??/25

¤ Concerned

"Are you--sure---we won't---" Estella sucked in a few deep breaths, "Get in trouble?"

"Don't--care."

She couldn't help but grin to herself, stretching her neck as Caden worked his lips up her jaw. Ah, yes. They weren't normally a pair that participated in public displays of affection, but there were many surrounding circumstances that simply could not stop their attraction. Estella was just concerned that they'd get caught--not because they'd get in trouble, but the teasing would be immense and go on for years...

...she supposed that was the risk for snogging in the Puddlemere locker room.

As she let out a light gasp at being lifted off the ground, her mind started to try to piece together what had brought on this raging snogging session. She'd seen Finn in the hallway and he'd told her Caden was still inside, she'd waited but then didn't want to be bothered by the security so she ducked in and...well...she was wearing the spring dress Caden had not so subtly suggested she wear more often (does the suggestion even count, when he was tearing it off of her?), and when she found him in the locker room, he was just out of the shower, clad in only a pair of gym shorts.

Mmhm..yes, the surrounding circumstances simply could not be ignored.

He'd pushed her so hard and high up against the locker that her dress was scrunched up at her waist. Estella always marveled at how strong Caden was, and didn't mind at all that he used this to their sexual advantage. Why would she? It meant they could have fun in so many different ways, and she was rather athletic too, so the combination was utterly and ridiculously perfect---

"Hold on a fucking second, I forgot my hat!"

She nearly twisted her ankle, how quickly she was dropped to the ground. Caden immediately flinched and put his hands on her side to see if she was okay, but they both froze in anticipation of being caught. Caden was nearly crouched entirely over her, as if to hide her away. Estella couldn't help but twist her lips and try not to laugh; even though she was the one who had been so concerned and worried about getting caught, it was more than amusing to see Caden get worked up as well.

"Go out the back way..." he muttered, eyes shut tight as if trying to will Finn toward the other exit.

Of course, fate liked to have its fun, and Finn was in the middle of putting on his hat when he crossed the aisle of their row of lockers, and stopped halfway at the sight of them. Estella knew she was as red as the balls Caden threw around, but she couldn't help her smile at the sight of Finn's very high and amused eyebrows.

"We-he-hellll," he started, but Caden lifted up a threatening fist, causing his friend to shut his mouth quickly. Finn winked at them, though, and continued out. Caden let out a breath, looking down at Estella with a relieved smirk, but that only lasted a moment as the sound of thundering footsteps came tearing through the locker room.

"IS THAT HER, FLINT?"

"THAT YOUR GIRRRRRRRRRLFRIEND?"

"WHOA SHE'S HOT LEMME SEE---"

"TAKE A PICTURE TAKE A PICTURE!"

The rest of Puddlemere (Ian, Jones, Martin, Seth---she spotted Nick in the background, not hollering like the rest but clearly just as amused) had seemingly been informed of their little escapade, by who exactly, wasn't that big of a mystery. Her thoughts that Finn had simply waltzed out of the locker room and told them were confirmed by his roaring laughter in the background.

Caden squeezed her side a second before he started down the aisle, shoulders and fists tight.

"Excuse me while I murder my entire team---"

"K-I-S-S-I-N----RUN!"

¤ First Crush

It...probably should not have taken her three years to talk to Sam Davies.

Not--they'd talked, he had been her Herbology partner for the past seven years, so there had definitely been talking, but nothing of serious thought. Being Herbology partners did let you get to know people better, of course, like--like she knew that he liked muggle sports, and that he had a twin (but, well--she was in the class too, so--). He was friends with the loud mouth Gryffindor, and...and loads of other things.

Muggleborn! She knew Sam was muggleborn. That was definitely something.

So after seven years of thinking he was remarkably cute, and funny, and nice, Estella was going to make her move. Not a--literal move, but...but they only had one year left, so..so she could try at least, right? He probably just saw her as a friend, which was fine, Estella just wanted to see if...this new found confidence of hers had any sort of way in helping her rather lackluster love life.

Class still a few minutes from starting, and Estella brought up the rear of the Slytherins, as usual. None of them actually liked the subject, but she found it enjoyable, if for only the fact that she got to sit next to and conversate with Sam the entire time. He was already in his seat, but his sister was in Estella's. Bugger. She came up behind them, standing with her books to her chest and her feet fidgeting. The courage she'd been building up all day to ask Sam to Hogsmeade was diminishing with each passing second, and this was getting her antsy and nervous. What if she was never able to bring the subject up? What if she completely lost any sort of bravery concerning the male species? What if she and Sam were really meant to be and here she was, wasting valuable seconds waiting for his sister to stop talking.

"You're in my seat," Estella snipped in her sharpest, most Slytherin-like tone, turning her nose up at Savannah. Estella rarely displayed such traits, but this was a dire situation! The Ravenclaw's head shot up, and with a slight huff slid off the stool and headed over to her desk. Estella felt relieved for only a second, before she realized that Sam could be awfully offended by how she'd just treated his sister! Great, Stell! Good job at completely ruining---

"Oy, thanks for that," Sam muttered, leaning over to whisper into Estella's ear. She felt herself flush from the tip of her ears to the base of her neck. "Saved me from a homework lecture."

Estella turned and grinned, shrugged gently. "S'alright. You know about footy, right? I heard Liverpool's going to be the best this year."

Her heart skipped at the sight of Sam's eyes lighting up, and she prayed that she could remember all the football facts she'd attempted to memorize the night before.

¤ Baby

Estella listened to the water run in the bathroom, her eyes stuck on the mirror in front of her. Her dresser had been the one she'd used since she was sixteen, it was passed down from her mother, from her grandmother, and who knew how long it had really been in the family. Estella liked to try and imagine all the faces that had looked into that same mirror, all the things it had seen. If it had been a magical one, she was sure that the glass would be able to relate to her those stories, but Estella enjoyed the mystery.

She stared at her reflection now, and found that she was unhappy with it. Her face was puffy and bloated, eyes weary with exhaustion and her hair tossed with tangles and frizz all around her head. Estella tried to remind herself that it was the end of a rather long day, she was sitting in the dark, and she was getting ready for bed, but the expression on her face spoke of more than just a tiring day. It had been four months since she'd found out she was pregnant, and four months since Caden had put up his wall of near silence.

No---not silence. They talked, and joked, they had fun with the boys, in nearly all aspects of their marriage, they were normal and happy. The second the burgeoning belly under her blouse was addressed, however; laughter ceased and short, nearly frigid statements were made. It broke her heart every day, and she didn't know how long she would be able to take it. It felt like---she felt like this huge part of her wasn't loved, and that she was wrong for already loving the baby inside of her so much, and she just--

"Oh," Estella let out softly, hands flying to her stomach. That was a very strong kick! She had been feeling butterflies the past few weeks, but that. That was definitely a kick. It was a ballerina's kick, she was sure, even if they weren't sure of the sex. Well--a boy could be a ballerina too, so she really didn't have to differentiate. Another one. "Ooh--"

"What's wrong?"

Estella turned quickly, not having heard Caden come out of the bathroom. He stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the light. She blinked to get adjusted to the brightness shining in from the bathroom, but it was easy to tell that his face was full of concern and worry. Estella pushed down her shirt and pulled her legs up onto the bed. They didn't discuss the baby, she wasn't going to make a big deal out of anything.

"The baby was kicking," she said simply, pulling the blanket up and over her legs. Estella forced herself not to elaborate, and smiled lamely at Caden before turning on her side and lying down for the night. She shut her eyes tightly to force herself not to cry as the pain in her chest returned, and her hand went to her stomach, hoping that the baby would kick again for her. Maybe feeling the baby more often would help her get through this pregnancy without being miserable; how could she be miserable while pregnant? She barely got to talk to anyone about it, her family was cautious because of both of their previous pregnancies, and then Caden---Caden just---

Estella hated being such an emotional wreck. She sniffled greatly as she tried not to cry, shutting her eyes even tighter. There was no way that Caden would believe she was actually sleeping, but she was going to fake it all night because she did not want to cry again about this. She was done dealing. She was going to be this baby's mother without her husband, it was what he seemed to want.

The bed pressed down and creaked as Caden joined her under the covers, and Estella's shoulders tightened. Do not speak to me, Caden Flint, for I will rip you apart right now. The side table's light shut with a click, and soon there was silence in the bedroom. Estella listened for his steady breathing, telling herself she could relax when Caden fell asleep, but she couldn't hear him. He couldn't be holding his breath, so he must be awake, but---whatever, fine, she did not care anymore. She was just going to be pregnant for a few more months, have the baby, and then he could what he missed out on.

There was another creak of the bed as Caden shifted, and she suddenly felt his breath on her bare shoulders. Estella sucked in her cheeks, mentally reminding herself that she was going to play tough, that she wasn't going to allow Caden to explain things to her, one more time. No, she wasn't going to deal, she was going to be strong and put up a fight for this child. This baby deserved it.

Estella sucked in a deep breath as Caden's hand slipped over her waist, resting quite deliberately on her stomach. Her eyes shot open at the touch, immediately releasing the tears she'd been holding back. Caden's nose pushed into the back of her neck, and Estella could almost hear his silent apology. Trembling with what had to be surprise and adoration and---yes, she was still concerned over it all, Estella took hold of his wrist and moved his hand to where the baby had last kicked. Thankfully, their little one seemed to get the message that it was very important to kick at that moment, and pushed hard into her stomach, right under Caden's hand.

A small, choked chuckle was heard, and Estella knew she was going to get the best sleep she'd had in a while.

¤ Best Friend

Dimitri Thomas was a scoundrel.

That was the best word Estella could come up with as she stormed down the corridors of Hogwarts. That scoundrel! How could he do something like that? Snogging another girl! A tart, she should say! How could he do something like that to her? Estella was very aware of the fact that they were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend, and they had never officially stated that they would be exclusive, but after he had met her parents! And eaten at her house! Estella had always thought it was a bad idea not find a title for them, but Dimitri had always managed to...to convince her that it was okay!

He'd convince her in really, seriously mind-numbingly pleasant ways!

He had been her boyfriend, everyone in the bloody school knew it, and so this stupid tart should've known it too. Or, at least, she was about to find out. Estella had just been informed by her very devious roommates (who never spoke unless it was about some juicy gossip that could ruin a person's life) exactly who this tart was and she was going to give her a piece of her mind. Some...some twig thin Hufflepuff who had a famous quidditch daddy and probably thought she could do whatever she wanted.

¤ Traumatized

She could see Tobias and Florence's outlines from the corner of her eye, standing only a few meters to the right. Estella let out a breath and dropped her chin to her chest, her neck seemingly not willing to hold up her head anymore. Everyone else had gone, some more dramatically at others. Marian had a full on fit at the base of the casket, hollering up toward the heavens and cursing everyone who tried to pull her away from her son, her only son.

Jake, her only son, Estella's husband--

Her nose twitched at the thought, and she dropped her head back and it knocked against the side of the casket. She'd asked the groundskeepers to give her a few minutes alone after the service had ended, and they'd solemnly agreed, but a few minutes had turned into nearly an hour and Estella had made no move to get up from her slumped position beside her husband's casket.

"Ma'am?"

Her eyes slid up from the ground to stare blankly at the grounds keeper. He was an older man whose face was terribly sympathetic; he must have witnessed people in worse states than hers, to be able to stare at her so calmly, but with great care.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to move..." he said. Estella blinked slowly, a painful bubbling building up in her chest. She saw his lips moving, and heard something about how they'd give her a seat if she wanted to wait nearby, but the crackling static that her brain was currently producing drowned any real acknowledgeable sound.

"Go away," she said lowly, harshly. The man blinked a few times and looked over to her siblings, and then back down at her.

"I'm afraid I can't."

"Go away."

"I--"

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?" Estella pushed herself up quickly, heels digging into the soft ground around her. She could see Tobias rushing toward her, but she paid no attention and her hands collided roughly with the man's shoulders. "GO AWAY! DON'T TOUCH HIM! GO AWAY!"

"Stell!" her brother cried out, pushing himself between her and the older man. Estella's anger quickly transfered over to her brother, anger that was completely delusional and uncalled for,

"YOU! YOU JUST---JUST GO AWAY!" she shrieked, slamming her fist into Tobias' chest as hard as she could, "YOU'RE GOING TO LET HIM DO THAT TO JAKE? YOU'RE---YOU'RE GOING TO LET HIM DIE, YOU LET HIM DIE---YOU'RE A FUCKING HEALER AND---AND----"

The pain in her brother's eyes caused her to falter, but Estella could barely breathe, let alone realize that she was being unreasonable and rash.

"Estella, please, please come home," Florence let out tearfully from beside her, grabbing onto her sleeve.

"I can't go home," she moaned, tugging herself away, but that only caused her to bump into the casket behind her. Estella's hands planted themselves on top of the wooden---the wooden---it was a box, she'd put her husband in a box and he was about to--to be put in the dirt, she put Jake in a box and was going to cover him with dirt, "I can't go home."

Home was with Jake, home was with their son, home was a place that didn't exist anymore, home was---was---

"Oh my God," she let out breathlessly, her body shaking, "Oh my God, oh my God--oh--oh my---" Where this emotion had been during the mass, she had no idea, but now that it was nearing the inevitable time to officially lose the last physical part of her husband every terrible, horrible, heartbreakingly painful emotion was blaring out of her.

Estella took in a loud, painful breath as her lungs were now burning from lack of air. She hadn't even realized she'd stopped breathing, and didn't struggle against Tobias' grip on her forearms as he dragged her away from the casket. Estella's eyes were wide in shock, tears seeping out of the corner of her eyes as she'd frozen in her delirium. She felt her brother's arms wrap around her in a hug from behind, and she saw Florence hurry up to her to embrace her, but all her mind could dare to focus on was the casket and the two men standing nearby who were courteous enough not to move an inch toward their burial tools until she left the scene.

¤ Drunk

"Who won the British and Irish League cup in 1934?"

"Wigtown!"

Caden frowned and with a grumble pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the floor on the side of the bed. Estella grinned and shifted not so subtly in her position straddling his lap. She poked his chest with a grin.

"Undershirts are not fair."

"Ask a question," he said, and Estella put a finger to her lips. What to say, what to say.

"You're going to lose, you realize," she said as her foggy mind continued to wrack itself for a question. There really wasn't a real reason to be playing the game, strip...questions, she supposed. Their nights alone always ended up in sex, this just...made it interesting. And, it was only going on because they were both a little on the drunk side. Who knew that a few beers could make Caden want to show off his extensive ballet knowledge?

"How many positions of feet are there?" she murmured, arms draping over his shoulders. Caden's eyes squinted as if counting in his head, and a smug look appeared rather quickly.

"Seven."

"Damn it."

"Take it off."

Estella's eyebrows rose as if this was such a terrible thing to have to do. Feigning an annoyed sigh, she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. Caden's expression turned into a smirk of triumph and he leaned forward, only to have Estella's hand press into his cheek to keep him away.

"You haven't asked a question yet!" she teased, finger running across this lips.

"That's not fair," he muttered, but he pressed his hands hard onto her back, to let her know that he was still winning. Estella flushed; if she got her question wrong, another piece of clothing would be shimmied off, and seeing as she was already down to her bra and knickers, Caden looked ready for the final strike. "Who was traded from the Catapults for Dai Llewellyn?"

Her lips pursed for a moment; she always got this guy confused with someone else. Oy...fifty-fifty chance here, this was something that every quidditch fan was supposed to know, yet she had to be constantly reminded of his name. Ahhh, hell--he just had to ask her this while intoxicated, hm?

"Parker? Jimmy Parker?"

"Damn it," Caden let out, dropping back to the bed. "Would you just get naked, then? I don't want to think about any more ballet questions."

Estella shifted and leaned forward onto Caden's chest, earning a squeeze. She was rather giggly in her drunken state, and she could not resist the sweet smell of victory. "Does that mean I win?"

"Hm--" his hands started to run up and down her sides, moving to fiddle with her bra clasps, "Sure."

¤ Maternal-Love

"Never in my fucking life have I heard of this happening---"

"Caden---"

"Left back? He has to repeat---"

Estella flinched greatly as Caden slammed the door to his office shut, shaking the entire house. She could hear him cursing and the sound of the floo network fired up---probably to inform Jolene of the news that Marcus, who was currently locked up in his room upstairs, was going to have to head back to Hogwarts in September to repeat his seventh year. Estella let out a breath, moving toward the door to sit with Caden to make sure he didn't end up breaking anything (as in--material possessions or one of his bones), but at the last second turned away from the door and started up the stairs.

She passed Jacob's room, peering in for a second to see their other two children huddled against the wall that divided the room with Marcus'. Jacob and Elizabeth's ears were pressed to the wall, and her daughter put a finger up to her lips.

"What are you--"

"Shhhhh! Marcus is throwing stuff!" Elizabeth interrupted, eyes wide as she pressed the side of her head harder to the wall.

"Is it true?" Jacob pulled away for a second to turn toward his mother, "Is he going to have to come back to Hogwarts?"

"I---"

"Oh, we'll be able to go to Hogsmeade together!" Elizabeth shrieked, bouncing on her knees in excitement. Jacob covered his mouth with his hand to stifle his laughter, and Estella pointed a stiff finger at the boy, who fell silent immediately.

"Lizzy---go to your room."

"But--!"

"Go."

The girl huffed greatly and flung her feet off the bed, stomping out of the room and across the hallway to hers. Estella bit her tongue as the door slammed, but decided that she only had the patience to deal with one angry teenager (or, well, Lizzy was almost a teen, so she didn't count yet--). She lifted her fist to knock on Marcus' door, but had to shoo Jacob back into his room before she did ("Shut. The. Door." "All right, all right!").

"Go away!" her son's voice from the other side of the door snapped, and Estella was glad she'd had time for yoga this morning, because every living thing in this house was testing her patience (the fish got stuck in the filter and the cat had gotten stuck in the rubbish bin).

"Marcus, open up," she said softly, leaning into the door. There wasn't any sound of movement for a few seconds, but then she heard the familiar clunk of his shoes and the door opened to reveal a very sour looking Marcus Flint. Estella attempted a small smile and was rewarded with a frown and the back of his head as he stomped back across the room. She wondered why teenagers liked to stomp so much, but put the thought aside and shut the door behind her before she crossed his room to sit beside Marcus on his bed.

They sat beside each other in silence for what had to be ten minutes. Estella had learned long ago that it was just best to let Marcus stew in his own misery than to try and pull feelings and emotions out of him; they had a very good relationship, she believed. It was easy for him to (well, eventually) let out what was bugging him, even if it was in the form of a raging rant or a drawn out whine. Marcus had always needed attention, and Estella provided the silent, good listener attention that kept the boy's head from rolling off his shoulders (his father's, too).

"I'm not dumb."

Estella's head immediately whipped toward him, features dropped wide in shock. Marcus was staring angrily at the floor, lips quivering.

"Did someone call you that? Don't you believe--"

"N.E.W.T. classes are hard, Ma," he let out, furiously wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, "and then I had quidditch and bloody Malfoy was a prick all year and Potter had to go and---and--it's hard!" His voice had gone up a few octaves, hands out in a pleading manner, "It's hard, okay, and I'm sorry, I bloody tried--"

She didn't care if he was nearly eighteen years old, every boy needed to be hugged by his mummy when he was feeling absolutely miserable, and Estella wasted no time in tightly wrapping her arms around Marcus. It was going to be a long summer.

¤ First Year

Tobias gripped his sister's wrist tightly as he zig-zagged through the narrow corridor of the Hogwarts Express. The train wasn't moving yet, so they had time to find a compartment, but Estella really wasn't moving fast enough for him to find a spot to drop her off.

"Hurry up!"

"I've got this stupid trunk!" she whined from behind her brother, looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes. It was her first time ever on a train, and for it to be the Hogwarts Express was more than daunting. Tobias had told her it was nothing special, but seeing the older students performing magic in the compartments and listening to all the stories at King's Cross had gotten Estella's imagination whirling.

Tobias stopped and frowned down at her. He'd put his trunk away before hand, knowing he was going to have to make sure Estella was put away safely (not--put away, but seated with nice people), but apparently that was not going to be the case. He let out a pain-filled sigh at the prospect of his little sister having to share the train ride with him, but Tobias knew there was no other way, and he pushed her back a few compartments and slid the door open.

"And who is this?" a tall blond boy asked loudly, standing up. Estella remained out in the corridor as Tobias dragged her trunk in, staring at the two other occupants. Oh--oh no, she recognized them from over the holidays and in Diagon Alley, she--she could not sit with---with his roommates.

"What's wrong with you, are you going to stay out there all day?" Tobias joked as he hefted up her trunk to the shelf. His hands hung onto the bars for a moment as he watched Estella actually contemplate the question, and eventually Tobias tugged her in, sitting her down beside the boy who wasn't standing.

"Tobias! You haven't answered my question!" the standing boy said, flashing a grin at her. Estella scrunched back into the seat, and the boy next to her crossed his arms with a short chuckle. She watched Tobias roll his eyes, and he put his hands up in a grand manner, waving them at her as if she was some sideshow at a carnival.

"This is my sissy, Estella--she's starting Hogwarts this year."

"Sissy?" the boy next to her let out, eyes low with a smirk. Tobias pulled a face, but any retort he might have had was cut off by the third boy, who stepped into the middle of the compartment, quickly reaching over and taking both of Estella's hands in his. She immediately flushed a deep shade of red, her eyes frantically flying over to Tobias for help, but he just shrugged, looking very, very amused.

"Estella, what a lovely name! I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, but surely you knew that, I'm positive Tobias has told you about me, I mean--why wouldn't he!"

A stifled laugh was definitely heard from Tobias' other roommate, and Estella couldn't help the glare that she immediately sent at him for laughing at her situation. What was wrong with this boy? Why was he talking like that? Why was he holding her hands?!

"I--I---"

"Now, Estella," Gilderoy sat down between Estella and the other boy, looking incredibly interested in her; it made her flush even deeper, if that was even possible---Estella reckoned it wasn't, and that she was going to die of embarrassment before even getting Sorted.

"She's eleven, mate, remember that," Tobias said with a sagely nod. Gilderoy shot over a nasty look that dissolved off his face immediately as he looked back down at her.

"Dear, what House do you think you'll be Sorted in?"

"Ah---I---I dunno. Ravenclaw, maybe?" she stuttered, eyes flashing back and forth between the three boys. Why had her brother thought this was a good idea? Ohhh, how she wished they would get to Hogwarts already, but a quick look out the window showed that they hadn't even left the station yet.

"Leave her alone, Lockhart," the third roommate said in a bored tone. Estella wanted to sink into her seat and disappear; why, why were these boys paying attention to her? At least the other boy was defending her, Tobias was just sitting there laughing like a dope---"she looks like she's going to suffocate on all that hot air you're blowing."

"There is no reason to be rude--"

"Estella!"

A high-pitched voice came from the doorway, and Estella jumped to her feet at the sight of Tabitha Smethwyck, her friend and neighbor, and right now---savior.

"Tabby! Tabby," she rushed forward, ignoring the protests coming from Gilderoy behind her, "Tabby, can I sit with you? Please?"

"Sure! Caitie's sister's a firstie too, she's sitting with us, come on!" Tabitha waved to Tobias and then took Estella's hand. She didn't even bother looking back at the boys as they began to bicker.

"Honestly, Caden, you are so rude!"

"And you're a fucking pouf, what do you want from me?"

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